Ah, Back to School season. That wonderful time of year where Facebook is filled with pictures of perfectly posed, adorable children in their crisp new outfits and monogrammed backpacks, holding Pinterest-style chalkboards with their current school year stats. Moms everywhere wave as their offspring board the big yellow bus, then hop in their own cars to meet their girlfriends for celebratory mimosas and brunch. FREEDOM!
Wait…not so fast.
While public schools mercifully start mid-August, many preschools won’t welcome our little darlings until after Labor Day. Labor Day :: the holiday that just won’t arrive. Seriously, Labor Day takes as long to get to as Christmas did when I was a kid. I’ve decided the last two weeks of August have got to be the longest two weeks of the entire year.
Ya’ll, I’m a good mom. I love my children. But do you know what else I love? Preschool. I love dropping my kids off with teachers who actually enjoy being around 2, 3, and 4 year olds, en masse, for hours at a time {seriously, give these people all the love}. I love the mountains of artwork, songs, and goody bags my kids bring home {but not so much the germs}. And yes, I do love the alone time, or at least, the kid-free time. And before you assume I’m scoring pedicures or shopping all day while my little ones learn their ABCs and how to make baking soda and vinegar volcanoes, this year, I’m going back to work during preschool hours … and I couldn’t be more excited!
Summer, it’s been real. And I know by next May I’ll be itching for lazy mornings, relaxed schedules, and pool time. But for now, I have definite reasons why I need preschool to start…NOW.
The Heat is Slowly Draining My Will To Live.
Do I even need to explain this one? Living on the surface of the sun is making me a tad grouchy these days. It’s so hot that even when we do schlep to the pool {which is basically warm bath water}, the kids beg to go home after an hour, because Waaa, it’s so hot. Yeah, it is. So then I just throw all responsible parenting out the window and let them veg in front of Netflix and consume high fructose corn syrup and red dye 40 while I wallow in sweat and mom guilt. Lather, rinse, repeat, for the rest of the month.
If My Child Asks Me for One More Snack I’m Going to Lose My…
No, child, you are NOT hungry. In the last hour, you have consumed a granola bar, some goldfish, a bowl of grapes, two strawberries, and a tortilla. You weigh 35 pounds. Again, you are NOT hungry.
Related :: It’s dinnertime. You have eaten one nibble of chicken, and pushed your broccoli to the other side of your plate. You are NOT full. {And no, it is not time for dessert.}
My Kids are Right … There’s NOTHING TO DO!
Since it is approximately 1 billion degrees outside, our outdoor time is basically limited to the pool. But our neighborhood pool staffs teenagers as lifeguards, who are all back to school. There goes our only option for cooling off that isn’t air conditioning. Yes, there’s the library, but keeping little hands off the books and computers, and little mouths at a library-acceptable volume is often more stress than it’s worth. And one can only visit Chick-fil-A so many times per week before even those delectable waffle fries start to lose their appeal. I can’t paint any more rocks, break up any more fights, or watch Trolls even more more time {at this point, even I want to eat Poppy just to make her shut up}. I just can’t.
My Dishwasher and Washing Machine Also Need a Break.
I swear I do four times as many loads of laundry during the summer, with all the swim suits, towels, and play clothes that seem to be filthy within minutes of touching a child’s body {who is usually holding some sort of frozen, sticky treat}. And why does one child need seven drinking cups over the course of a day? Even my appliances are waving a white flag of surrender to summer.
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder. Right?
There is nothing more precious than a little one’s excited smile when she sees her mom for the first time in 5 hours. I had 3 months of 24/7 togetherness with these tiny humans; a few hours a week of separation is a good thing for all of us. Time away from my little ones while they are at preschool definitely makes me a better mom, and I think makes them better kids. It’s a win-win.
Preschool, I love you. I need you. Please take my children … NOW.
Preach!! I’m sad not to have my LO around all day, but looking forward to the alone time! And also – I second the temptation to eat Poppy to get the peace and quiet. Same goes for Elmo.