Dear sweet birth momma,
From the moment Aaron and I decided to adopt, you’ve been on our hearts. We didn’t even know you yet, but we knew we loved you, admired you, and respected you. We prayed for you. We prayed for your baby. We prayed for your heart. There’s no way we could ever understand what you have gone through, but the decision to allow someone else to parent your babies is an honor we hold in high regard in our family.
This will be the second year for me to celebrate Mother’s Day. Another year to celebrate after many years of grieving. You’re heavy on my heart today because I don’t know if and how you may be grieving today. But even if Mother’s Day is painful, I can’t let it go by without acknowledging you. Because you, sweet sister, are a mother even though your sweet babies are a part of our family. I don’t want to speak for you or pretend to know your feelings, but I wanted to tell you that on Mother’s Day you’re close to my heart because of the two precious people that we have in common.
Seventeen months ago you made a hard, selfless decision. We stood in our agency and you placed your baby girl in my arms and your baby boy into Aaron’s. And as a parent now, that is a moment I can’t even begin to fathom. I wanted to hug you as much as I wanted to hug them that day.
The children you birthed are amazing people. They’re flourishing. And they are loved deeply by so many people. They’re entering toddlerhood and their personalities are developing. Cason Carmelo is an adventurous little guy, exploring and climbing anything he can. Yet with his adventurous spirit, I’ll find him sitting down with a book for long periods of time, flipping each page and caught up in his own little world. He loves people and gives hugs to everyone. Grace Camille is a strong and independent little girl. She loves to be around people and is always quick to snuggle up into someone’s lap. She speaks her mind, knows what she wants, yet snuggles in for a hug and kiss any time you smile at her.
Every day I wonder if these sweet traits were handed down to them from you. And every day when I look at their faces, I’m reminded of you and your strength.
In our home we speak about you with honor and dignity. A birthmother is a special woman who deserves respect and when it comes to celebrating Mother’s Day, we take time to celebrate you, the woman who gave our children life. I can’t help but think that I wouldn’t have this day without you. Thank you for giving me the privilege of celebrating today as a mother; we celebrate this day acknowledging you as mom as well…a special kind of mom to our kids. The one who loved them first and carried them in her womb. The one who gave them the precious gift of life and gave us the precious gift of them.
It’s an honor to share the title of “mom” with you – a woman of courage and bravery. Every day I wake up feeling so grateful that you chose me to raise these amazing children. You and I will always be connected. You, the mother who gave them life and loves them from where you are…and me, the mom who has the privilege of living each day with them.
So to you, thank you for the gift of being called “Mommy.” And we celebrate you this Mother’s Day as the mommy who loved them first.
