Dear Coca-Cola,
Congratulations, you have officially ruined 2017. You just announced that you are replacing my beloved Coke Zero with Coke Zero Sugar. And you are doing this ASAP. Like, can we all just take a minute to process this news?
You are claiming this reinvention of MY FAVORITE DRINK is especially for people seeking a soft drink option that is lower in sugar. {Hi there…if you are seeking a soft drink option lower in sugar, I’d like to introduce you to my friend WATER.}
This is devastating. I’m not a coffee drinker, so my source of caffeine comes from drinking a can of Coke Zero at least three times a day. Look, I need all the caffeine I can get because I have two energetic little children that wear me out. I’m not going to switch to Diet Coke because I don’t like the taste of flat soda that smells like a mechanic’s garage. And it’s not like I can stockpile Coke Zero away because the expiration date on the bottom of the can is a thing.
So, Coca-Cola CEO, here is my proposal — Leave well enough alone. Invent a new soda that is low in sugar and step away from the Coke Zero! The internet is in an uproar, the Twitterverse has gone mad, and frankly, this is not looking good for your stock. Remember that time you tried New Coke? How’d that work out for you?? Spoiler :: not so well.
So whether we are all becoming victims of a marketing folly, or you are truly interested in my sugar intake, I say … no thank you! Give me back my Coke Zero!
Sincerely,
A Distraught Coke Zero Addict
#freecokezero