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How To Be A Bad Mom

Lately I’ve found myself questioning whether or not being a mom actually is the best job in the world. I’ve been questioning what exactly makes one a “good mom” versus a “bad mom.” The emotional and maternal part of me 100% agrees that motherhood is the BEST thing ever. The love, oh the love, truly cannot be explained as anything else besides overwhelming. My heart has never been so full since the day I heard my oldest daughter cry for the first time, and then it doubled in size when I heard my second cry a few years later.

This phase of absolute adoration and infatuation for those two precious girls has yet to end for me. Does that mean they don’t drive me crazy some days? Absolutely not. They do, but with every day that’s filled with obstacles and frustration, there is a night filled with looking back at their photos and videos and falling in love with them all over again while they’re asleep in the next room. This is the part of motherhood that I can say 100% makes it the best job in the world.

How To Be A Bad Mom | Houston Moms Blog

Photo credit: Lacy Dagerath: More Than an Image

So now you’re probably wondering what could cause me to think being a mom is the worst job in the world. Well, here goes nothing. Let’s start with the new standards of motherhood and parenting in general. I’m not sure when or how some of these motherly expectations got started, but they are here now. And in my opinion … out of control.

First up is the notion that once you become a mom you should subsequently give up every part of you that doesn’t have to do with being a mom. LAME. Up next is making sure your children look perfect, behave like cherubs, are breastfed until they can start eating organic food, and *never* have a taste of fast food. Then, we’ll head on down to how mom should lose the baby weight within the first few months after childbirth. {Insert eye roll.} A good mom should also stop pursuing anything of interest outside of the home, and if she decides to do so anyway, she should be made to feel guilty about it in every moment possible. She should throw perfect birthday parties and take her kids to every party they’re invited to with a homemade, monogrammed, and perfectly wrapped present. She should volunteer for every kindergarten event, party, paper-cutting session, and never be late to anything she signed up for. She should make her children Pinterest-inspired lunches and the most elaborate treats for every holiday and snack day for every child in the class. She should walk her child to school and wait in the car line for two hours to pick them up. Her house should be spotless, and she should cook a warm meal each and every night. And the list goes on and on and on…..

Just thinking about all of those things makes me want to put in my two weeks notice, and I didn’t even list half of the expectations that seem to be the norm in modern day motherhood.

Coincidentally, if all of the things I listed above are the qualifications necessary to be a “good” mom, then I definitely don’t qualify. I work outside of the home and actually enjoy it. Bad mom. My children look put together most of the time, but we have all left the house in our pajamas without brushing our teeth or hair on multiple occasions. Bad mom. I have spanked my child in public. Bad mom. I have lost sight of my toddler while caring for the baby. Bad mom. My husband and I went on vacation without our children. Bad mom and dad. We don’t eat organic foods, and one of my children’s favorite foods is french fries. Bad mom. I bought my daughter’s class snack cakes for their Christmas party last year. Bad mom. I don’t make a homecooked meal every night, and honestly, most nights my husband does the cooking. Bad mom. And the list goes on and on and on…..

 Some of these expectations used to really weigh me down and actually made me think that maybe I was a bad mom, but now I know better. I don’t let others decide what being a “good mom” means for me, and honestly, none of us will know if what we’re doing is completely screwing up our kids or not until they’re adults. If I’m able to look at my girls when that day comes and say that they are decent and functioning adults, then I’ll know I did what I was supposed to do and that I was indeed a good mom. Until then, I’ll gladly wear my “bad mom” crown and save the worrying for more important things … like which fast food restaurant to grab our dinner from.

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