Misty :: How I Became a Mother

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Misty’s Story

Oh, my story.  Like all of our lives, my story is filled with ups and downs.  But none more than my journey to becoming a mother.  And guess what?  I. Wouldn’t. Change. A. Thing.

It all started with marrying very quickly in 1996 when I was 21 and still in college.  What in the world was I thinking?  Trouble started from day 1.  Scary trouble.  But I stayed, hoping that things would get better.  I also stayed with a promise from him that he would think about having children when we had been married 5 years.  At about year 4, I was told the new number was 10 years.  In a horrible sequence of events, our marriage ended in a divorce.  And those babies I never got to have?  Well, you know that song about ‘unanswered prayers’?  Yeah, I thank the Lord nearly EVERY day that he didn’t give me the children that my heart desired back then.

Fast forward to 2003.  I had been divorced 2 years {and had certainly sworn off marriage forever!} when a sweet grandmother-friend from church called me up.  Her exact words?  I can still remember them and even hear her saying them in her deep southern drawl, “Misty, my granddaughter walked out on her husband and two children a couple of years ago, and I want you to go on a date with him!”  Gulp.  WHAT???  She didn’t want to small talk, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer.  My answer was NO.  Of course, stated in the most polite way I could think of.  And we hung up.  The next three days, she called and tried over and over again.  Should I tell you this lady personifies the word PERSISTENT?!?!?  I finally agreed that she could give him my number, secretly vowing I wouldn’t answer and would put an end to this craziness!  A single dad with custody of his two kids {who were at that time, 7 and 4 years of age}???  Are you kidding me?

As ‘fate’ would have it,  I took that call.  I fell in love with the most incredible man, and we slowly integrated the new ‘us’ into the lives of his children.  We dated for two years.  And then we married.  I became a full-time step-mom eight years ago.  It has been the hardest job of my life.  But I love those two oh, so much.  There is nothing I wouldn’t do for either of them.

And so, I became a mom…the step-mom way.

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That same year, we started trying to ‘grow’ our family.  I was 30.  I knew that my maternal clock was ticking, but never, EVER in my wildest dreams did I think that six long, painful years would pass before that dream would become a reality.  We sought help through multiple fertility doctors, endured poking and prodding and all sorts of invasive testing, went down the Intrauterine Insemination {IUI} route more times than I care to admit, and then hit the ‘big daddy’ in the world of fertility…In-Vitro Fertilization {IVF}, twice.  All unsuccessful attempts.  My doctors told me that I should continue on with fertility treatments because my chances of ever getting pregnant on my own were virtually NONE.  I knew then, that I WAS DONE.  It’s a feeling that you have to wait for before stopping fertility treatments.  If you’ve done them before, you know what I mean.  You cannot stop until you know that you know.  I KNEW.  I knew that my heart could take no more.  I knew that my body could take no more.  I literally wanted to throw up when I thought about what we could have done with the 30k plus in our savings that we had spent.  I could feel it deep in my soul.  I. Was. Done.  I could no longer bare the cold world of fertility treatments.  Giving up in this process was a loss that I can barely explain.  It’s the death of a dream.  My husband and I decided to get away for three days, and I can honestly say that I cried every single day and night of that trip.  I remember waking in my sleep with tears rolling down my cheeks.  With the most supportive, loving husband in the world…WE grieved together. 

On the last day of our trip, we ate breakfast watching a family who had just picked up their adopted daughter and were in the process of getting home.  Coincidence?  I think not.  We had talked about adoption, even attended a few meetings about it, but hadn’t seriously pursued it yet.  This was our sign.  We both knew it.  Our new journey.  God had given us a new reason to hope.  HOPE…the gloriously mysterious emotion that keeps you going when you didn’t know it was possible.

We came home and met with three different adoption agencies, settling on Homes of Saint Mark, the oldest adoption agency in Houston, now called Presbyterian Children’s  Homes and ServicesLess than a year later, we had been chosen by three different birth moms of three different racial heritages, and each fell through for various reasons.  It was devastating, and we felt like giving up.  Until once again, we received ‘the call.’  This time felt different.  We had the awesome opportunity to travel to an incredible foster home to meet a beautiful baby boy that we had been chosen for.  On December 7, 2011, all of our pain was erased when we brought our 2 week old baby boy home.  Our gift through adoption was more than worth the wait, more than worth the pain, more than worth it all.  Oh, my precious boy.  I will always be grateful to the Lord and to his birth mom for choosing me to be his mom.  It is an honor and a privilege that I will never take for granted.  I love him more than life itself.

And so, I became a mom…the adopted way.

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And here’s our adoption story in a video created by Aric Harding, one of our awesome worship leaders at Sagemont Church

 

But the story doesn’t end there. Just four months later, I began feeling YUCK.  I was talking to my friend at work, describing my symptoms, when she suggested I take a pregnancy test.  Me?  A pregnancy test.  She knew my background with infertility.  I just about fell out laughing.  But the very next day, I found myself at the store buying a pregnancy test.  A pregnancy test that confirmed my very smart friend’s suspicion.  I was pregnant.  I was in shock.  My husband and I had polar opposite reactions to this news.  I was scared…He was excited.  I cried…He whooped and hollered and cheered.  I worried…He knew everything was going to be okay.

On November 29, 2012, I went into the hospital.

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And shortly after midnight, I gave birth to my precious miracle from above.  My SURPRISE baby girl.  I still can’t believe it some days.  It was insanely UNREAL, like something out of a dream.  Something that was NOT supposed to happen for me.  My sweet baby girl, I love her so.

And so, I became a mom…the biological way.

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I’m a mama.  Step, adoptive, biological…I just say BLESSED.  One blessed, thankful mama.

My biggest lesson learned in becoming a mother…

Don’t doubt God’s plans.  Even when they seem horrible.  He works all things for good.

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In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, we are dedicated to raising awareness and educating our community about the varying types of infertility and the many options available.  Our hope is that this series will open your eyes and inspire you in a really dynamic way, so please join us as real local moms open up and share their stories all throughout the week.  To read more, please click here.

Please Note :: Bassett Baby Planning is graciously sponsoring our ‘How I Became a Mother Series’…and we would not have it any other way!  We are passionate about all that they are doing for new and expecting moms, and we encourage you to contact them to help in your journey to becoming a mother too.

To learn more about Bassett Baby Planning

or schedule an appointment, please contact ::

855.455.BABY or info {at} bassettbabyplanning {dot} com

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24 Responses to Misty :: How I Became a Mother

  1. Michelle T November 24, 2013 at 8:49 am #

    And I am bawling like baby. Blessed indeed and one of the most amazing moms I know.

    • Misty W
      Misty W November 24, 2013 at 9:06 pm #

      michelle…i love you. sweet words from a sweet mama. xo

  2. Meg O. November 24, 2013 at 12:57 pm #

    Yeah, I’m totally crying too. Thanks a lot!! No but seriously, this story is just downright incredible. You are one blessed and amazing mama.

    • Misty W
      Misty W November 24, 2013 at 9:08 pm #

      you’re not alone! ha! i cry every time i think about how blessed i am! thanks, meg o;) every time i think about you, i smile, oh yeah and giggle. i can’t help it. you’re such a goof.

  3. Kristen Quinn November 24, 2013 at 2:34 pm #

    Wow.. your story is amazing. Made me cry, due to personal emotions of this. I have been divorced from a very abusive husband for 14 years now. I had a miscarriage at his hands, the only time I have ever been pregnant. Have not met a fellow to call ‘husband’ material yet. At 39, as of next week (11/29) I feel that maybe, just maybe, God will help my dream of marrying a wonderful man and adopting will come true. That is what my goal is now since I am getting to the age of not being able to have a child naturally. I have always wanted to adopt. Your family is beautiful and you are all so very blessed to have each other. God Bless you all and have a blessed and wonderful holiday season!

    • Misty W
      Misty W November 24, 2013 at 9:17 pm #

      kristen…i am SO sorry. the loss you experienced, i cannot even imagine. so unfair. so unjust. but i strongly believe…GOD WORKS HORRIBLE THINGS FOR GOOD. i’m praying for you. and i mean that. you are not alone: my friend who longed for children but wasn’t married until she was 41 had TWINS with IVF. and in our adoption agency, a sweet SINGLE friend was just chosen this past year for a beautiful baby girl. she waited longer because she was single, but her baby CAME! kristen, kristen, kristen…do not give up. HOPE. i’m committing to praying for you EVERY DAY. my email is [email protected] if you ever want to get in touch.
      happy birthday next week!!! your special day is the day before my Kate’s 1st birthday:)
      love, misty:)

  4. Tanya November 24, 2013 at 8:00 pm #

    This was like ready my own story. Years of trying and awful treatments then adopted our beautiful son. Then after two failed adoptions ended up shocked by a pregnancy with my baby girl!

    I was a hard journey but I wouldn’t change a thing!!

    • Misty W
      Misty W November 24, 2013 at 9:21 pm #

      oh tanya!!! you know the pain, and you know the joy. you know, don’t you!?!? i get excited when i hear of others who have come thru it. it’s a bond that we share. adoption, fertility treatments, surprises! thank you, Lord. thank you, tanya, for sharing!!!
      m:)

  5. Tiffanie V
    Tiffanie V November 24, 2013 at 8:50 pm #

    Beautiful story, Misty! You’re a beautiful and blessed mom! Thanks for inspiring today.

    • Misty W
      Misty W November 26, 2013 at 7:34 am #

      thanks, tiffanie;)

  6. Becky K November 25, 2013 at 1:02 pm #

    Love you and your story. SO grateful you write for HMB and we get to hear your life and the lessons you have to share. Your heart is so beautiful!

    • Misty W
      Misty W November 26, 2013 at 7:34 am #

      thanks, becky;)

  7. Heather M
    Heather M November 25, 2013 at 7:43 pm #

    I love this story! No matter how you look at it- all four of your kids are miracles brought into your life!

    • Misty W
      Misty W November 26, 2013 at 7:35 am #

      they ARE!!! yes! thanks, heather;)

  8. pat armstrong November 25, 2013 at 8:38 pm #

    I’m so happy for you and Chuck… what a Blessed family… we know about Blessing and my son Chris Lynch has 4 wonderful blessing… my daughter Chesica has 2 and the greatest thing of all is they all love the Lord….

  9. Misty W
    Misty W November 26, 2013 at 7:36 am #

    awwww…..thanks mrs. armstrong. you have AMAZING kids and grandkids. i love them. and yes, I SEE their love for JESUS. so precious to me. i know you are proud!!!

  10. Jenn L
    Jenn L December 6, 2013 at 9:27 pm #

    This is one of my favorite stories Misty! It’s YOUR story and God knew what He was doing giving it to you. I love your honesty, faith, and the hope your heart seems to carry always. God weaves such beautiful fabric!

  11. Sarah February 5, 2015 at 1:34 am #

    Oh my goodness! What a crazy, awesome story! God is good!!

  12. Alyssa April 15, 2015 at 9:32 pm #

    What a beautiful story. It’s so hard to endure difficult circumstances when you’re in the midst of them, but so amazing when you look back and see how everything fell into place just as it should. Thank you for sharing your experience!

  13. Veronika April 15, 2015 at 10:02 pm #

    You are so blessed! What an amazing story!

  14. Kelly April 16, 2015 at 3:59 pm #

    My WORD, that is an incredible story. You are blessed beyond words, although your story is so eloquently told. Your family is beautiful and precious.

  15. Jennifer April 16, 2015 at 7:50 pm #

    I got chills reading this. So much that I had to read it to my husband. It is amazing all tje any ways we can become moms in our lifetime. However, your story is just beautiful. Beautiful that you opened your heart to two great stepkids and then an adorable adopted boy and then adding your own special surprise. Thank you for sharing your story.

  16. Carrie April 20, 2015 at 2:52 pm #

    This was like reading my own story. Due to ovarian cancer at age 10 my husband and I indured treatment after treatment, and IVF. The worst years physically and emotional and as you said you just know when your done.
    But I never in my heart ever gave up even though my body did.
    However at the young age of 44 our little miracle came to us. I finally became a mom to the most beautiful newborn little girl. The adopted way.

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