Top 10 Misconceptions of the Working Mom

Over the past 2 years, I’ve noticed that working moms are often a little misunderstood. People tend to assume things about us without even knowing us or understanding our situation. For me, it actually started 3 years ago when I was pregnant with our first daughter and people asked me if I would be returning to work. And I don’t mean like family and friends, most of them actually didn’t ask me because they knew I would be going back to work after she was born. I’m talking about strangers on the elevator. One even told me he felt sorry for our unborn daughter. Yes, a complete stranger — trust me, my jaw probably hit the floor during that elevator ride. So in an effort to clear up some of the misunderstandings, here are my top 10 misconceptions of the working mom. Let me know I’m not alone and tell me about how you feel misunderstood as a working mom or a SAHM for that matter, in the comments below.

1} We spend our lunches eating out with friends and co-workers.

Sometimes we get to do this, and when we do it’s fabulous and a welcome break from the demands of work and motherhood. The reality is that most days we sit at our desks and work through lunch so that we can get home in time for gymnastics or so we can see our kiddos for an extra hour that night. When we’re not working through lunch, we’re running one of the many errands on our never ending to do list.

2} We are miserable at work and miss our children all day.

Yes, we miss our children, especially when we first send that little bundle of joy to daycare, leave them with the nanny, or a family member comes over to care for them. But then it gets easier, and dare I say, some days, really easy. {Hello, terrible twos!!} We definitely aren’t miserable at work and most of the day there is no time to think about all the things that could make us miserable. We show up, work hard, and before we know it, it’s time to go pick up that sweet baby!

3} We only work because we have to.

This may be true for some of us on the working mom team, but it isn’t true for all of us. I never saw myself as a stay at home mom, and it was never something I wanted for me or my family. Did I doubt my decision after I met my first baby? Absolutely! Was it really hard to drop her off at daycare those first couple of months? Without a doubt. But, like I said before, it got easier, and it has become the best decision our family has ever made. Our daughter is thriving in daycare, and I’m also thriving at work while helping provide for our family and her future.

4} We don’t have time for play dates.

Thankfully, the traditional work day is disappearing more and more with the demand for flexibility at work. No, we probably won’t be able to make the weekday 10am play date at the park, but if you throw in a couple afternoon or weekend trips to the pumpkin patch or farmer’s market, we just might make it. The mommy groups that I’m in do a great job of scheduling events for the working moms, and so do my friends. But if you’re a working mama that is missing out on play dates, forge your own path and plan a play date that works for your schedule.

5} We don’t understand what it’s like to be a SAHM.

For most working moms, maternity leave is the closest thing to being a stay at home mom that we’ll ever experience, but some of us put in a few years as a SAHM before we went back to work. Either way, the time we experienced as a stay at home mom is a time that we won’t ever forget. Yes, it was unforgettable because we bonded with and enjoyed the time with our babies, but it was also unforgettable because it was HARD work. Just like stay at home moms, on some days we stared at the clock hoping it was time for daddy to come home and simultaneously wondered how it was only 9am. We felt exhausted, lonely, and under-appreciated…but at the same time important, fortunate, and oh so loved.

6} Our kids get sick all the time.

Our kids get sick just as much as everyone else’s. Kids get sick. It’s a fact of life. They pick up germs at school, the park, the splash pad, church, the grocery store, birthday parties, and the list goes on and on. It’s no fun, but it’s just a part of having young children.

7} Strangers are raising our children.

No one is raising our children but us. Their teachers and school administrators aren’t strangers. They are people we see and interact with each day. We choose carefully who cares for and teaches our children, and they become more and more like family with each passing day.

8} We don’t enjoy motherhood.

This one couldn’t be further from the truth. We love motherhood, our journey just looks a little different than the traditional stay at home mom, but the truth is, all of our experiences are unique. The definition of a traditional SAHM is changing all the time.

9} Our career is more important than our family.

If we needed to quit our job tomorrow in order to meet the needs of our children, we would without hesitation. Our careers are important, but nothing is more important than our family.

10} Our children aren’t well behaved.

Some children have behavioral issues, and they also have working mothers. Other children have behavioral issues, and their mothers stay at home. For my family we are continuously impressed with the manners and behaviors our daughter learns while she’s at school. This may not be the case for everyone, but the assumption that all children with working mothers have bad behavior just isn’t true.

So there you have it, the 10 misconceptions I notice most.  But we all experience them, so what are yours?