As she frantically searched her purse for a pen, I watched her pull out an assortment of children’s toys and snacks. In an effort to make sure that she knew that she wasn’t alone in her new normal, I pulled a handful of stale puffs from the bottom of my bag and said, “I’m right there with you, girl.” We both laughed, and that’s when I knew that I had found a new friend.
When I found out that I was pregnant, I had no nearby friends that were also parents. I was the first of my friends to become a mother. As exciting as this time was for me, I had no idea of how emotionally overwhelming and intense it would be. During it all, I confided in my husband and my childless friends. My husband was as supportive as he could be, not understanding the emotional toll that pregnancy has on a woman’s hormones, body, and mind. My friends were also understanding in their own ways, but ultimately, they didn’t get it when I said that I was too tired to hang out or too pregnant to even want to be in a bar. During those long 41 weeks of pregnancy, I began to feel very alone.
After my sweet baby girl was born, I took to social media for a better understanding of everything that was happening to me in my new life. From waking up in puddles of milk to losing hair by the handfuls, I was surprisingly in postpartum bliss — but also completely overwhelmed. I virtually met a ton of women who empathized with my situation. They also weren’t sleeping. They were human milk factories. They couldn’t stay in Target for longer than 30 minutes without milk saturating their tops. In their chaos, I found my calm. I no longer felt alone!
Talking to these online women motivated me to meet some local women! So, I downloaded a few apps and slowly but surely joined a few local mom groups. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself meeting new people via a social app or even using the words “mom group” with pride, but here I am!
Once I felt comfortable navigating the real world with my baby, I started going to more mom/baby meetups. Though some meetups were very intimidating in the beginning, I now know that every mom needs this community. And here are 3 main reasons that every mom needs a few mom friends by her side…
1} They understand.
Do you have to cancel a play date because your kid is either having the tantrum of the century or taking the longest nap of his/her life? They understand. Do you hate going out to eat with your toddler during her terrible twos so you prefer to sit at a park and eat homemade turkey sandwiches? They understand. Are you drained from having to be “on” all the time? They totally understand.
From temper tantrums and sleepless nights to the constant worries of motherhood, no one quite understands the ups and downs as much as another mom.
2} They motivate you.
Are you feeling insecure about your postpartum body? Not only do they understand, but they will also motivate you to not be so hard on yourself. Are you feeling jealous of the seemingly flawless mothers that you see on social media – the ones that look like they have their entire lives together? Well, unfortunately they annoy you, but ultimately they also motivate you to at least change into a different pair of yoga pants. Are you stuck in a funk and need to talk to someone about what’s going on in your life? Text, email, or call your mom friend. She will understand, assure you that you are not alone, and motivate you to be the incredible woman that you are.
3} They have your back.
Do you have an emergency and need help with your kids? They’ve got your back! Did your baby decide to have a blowout in public on the one day that you decide that you won’t need your diaper bag? Luckily, they’ve got your back. Do you need a workout partner who also wants to shed some baby weight? They’ve got your back! Are you feeling stressed out and need a night away from your husband and kids to vent? They’ve got your back {and a bottle of wine}!
So, have you found your tribe yet? Have your found a group of mothers that you can run to in your times of need? If not, go ahead and put yourself out there. You can meet these women at church, community events, parks, or through apps like Meetup. At first, it may be intimidating. You may find yourself in a group of women with completely opposite personality types and entirely different parenting methods. No worries — a connection will happen in time. Just continue to invest in these friendships.
Having a group of friends that are also mothers is like having a constant support group. Motherhood, as fulfilling and joyous as it can be, can also become stressful and encompassing. With the help of your family, the smiles of your little ones, and the support of a good mom friends, you will have all of the confidence in the world.
So much truth to this post! I value my mommy friends tremendously and it also helps that they are up at all hours of the night when I have an “emergency”, haha!
Oh yeah! Definitely gotta love having support during those late night texts!
my mom’s group has been together online for 6 years now. i love those ladies so hard! yay for mom groups!!!
Isn’t finding a community so incredible? Definitely a yay for mom groups!