It started with a conversation.
Have you ever talked to someone and they said something so profound that it stopped you in your tracks?
Sometimes, all you need is an unbiased perspective from another person to help you see things a little more clearly. That’s what happened to me. It’s funny how life works; I happened to be in the right place mentally, and at the right time emotionally, to finally receive the important message that I am enough.
My Weakness {but also my strength}
Vulnerability comes naturally for me. It’s the deep and real conversations with people that make me feel whole. I love connecting with others in a genuine way. However, because I am like this, I’ve realized that some people are not this way.
I’ve opened my heart to people who haven’t reciprocated or even met me in the middle and when this happens, it causes me a lot of hurt and pain. I understand that some people are not as readily available to receive my vulnerabilities so in return, I am learning to be more cautious about who I can be my truest self with in order to protect my heart.
It’s not something that I want to do, but all I’m going to say is boundaries.
It’s a hot topic nowadays to lead with kindness. To give people grace because we all know how complex life is and how its complexities contribute to how each of us get through our everyday lives. In a world where I know that it’s the right thing to be kind and gracious to others, I’ve been afraid to be kind and gracious to myself.
The Conversation
I heard something in this conversation that I’ve still been trying to process and internalize ever since. It was simple, and yet life changing. I can’t tell you why this time was different and why it took what this person said to me that finally changed my viewpoint, but I know for certain that I never want to forget it.
With the change to the new year, the topic of conversation I was having was what this year is going to look like for me. I mentioned to this person that last year I made a conscious effort to try and put myself first more. This has has been seemingly more difficult since I became a mother {an inevitable factor of motherhood} and not something that I do naturally, but it’s something I’ve come to realize is a necessity for my overall mental health and personal growth.
I mentioned that this year I wanted to improve on that idea and work on being a better version of myself. To which the person abruptly stopped me in my tracks and with conviction said, “Do you hear yourself right now? YOU ARE ENOUGH. You don’t need to be better.”
A Life-Changing Perspective:: I am enough.
I learned a very big lesson here. This person was right. Why do I feel like I need to be better? My personal shortcomings and feeling like I constantly need to be better for certain people in my life has been a spinning wheel of direct and indirect messages telling me that I’m not good enough.
When I heard those words “you are enough” I felt like someone was physically taking the weight off of my shoulders, and it was LIBERATING. I was breaking free from the prison of an idea that I didn’t think I was capable of believing. I am enough. Wow, what a concept.
This ties back to my vulnerabilities. When I’m vulnerable and rejected I put the blame on myself. I make myself responsible for the interactions and I internalize it into a message to myself that sounds a lot like, “What is wrong with you?” And from there, I become not good enough.
I don’t need to be better. I am good enough right now. This time I’m going to believe it for good.