Dear First Time Momma,
You’re just days away from giving birth to your first child. I’m sure you’ve been told before that it will be a wonderful, magical experience – and that’s true. Nothing in the world compares to the first time you hold a little person you made. But there’s another side you should know about too.
The beauty will be partnered with a rough side. Some days you won’t see all of the magic. You’ll be sleep-deprived, short-tempered, and hormone-riddled. Sleep and showers will be few and far between. And you’ll quickly realize you don’t have near as much figured out as you once believed.
It won’t always feel like you and your spouse are on the same team – and sometimes you won’t be. But that’s okay. You’re both learning a whole new role as parents, while still trying to be husband and wife. It’s not easy. Lean on the relationship you’ve built over the past few years and remember the love that brought you to this child and to this phase of life. You’ll work through it.
Your friends and family may try to pressure you – hold your ground. You’ve researched and decided which parenting techniques will work for you. Maybe they will, and maybe they won’t, but that’s yours to figure out. At the same time, accept help from these special people in your life. Whether you realize it now or not, you need them.
You’ll feel like other moms are judging your parenting methods – and sometimes they are. I’ll be the first to say there’s way too much mom judgment in the world. We all have different parenting techniques for different reasons, but we’re all just doing our best to raise a healthy, happy child. And sometimes that just means making it through the day until wine time. Don’t let the sanctimommies get to you.
I don’t tell you these things to scare you, but to inform you. I want you to know you’re not the only one who’s walked this road and experienced these feelings. I’m four years into this mom gig, and some days I still don’t have it together. Sometimes my husband and I don’t see eye to eye when it comes to parenting. Sometimes I still feel the pressure from others’ unsolicited opinions.
You’ll be okay. You’ll find your mom tribe. You can lean on your friends and family that have walked this road before you. It will get easier. And more than anything… It is so, SO worth it.
Veteran Mamas Everywhere