“It’s Fall Y’all” …and other things I am OVER.

Dear Fall,

I’ve had enough of you already. As of September 23rd, you arrived. Supposedly. I’m sure on September 23rd it was actually still 114 degrees here in Houston. Even though its fall, I have yet to survive an entire day in my leggings and boots…and that’s the standard in which I measure this season by.

All this to say, I’m over it. But I’m just buckling up because the pressure of fall and all of its pumpkin spiced activities is NOTHING compared to the stress of Christmas and that damn Elf on the Shelf.

So, I want to reach out to my fellow Houston moms and pose the question… Is anyone else over it? Because here are some things about this season that I am over…

Our Pumpkin Obsessed Culture

Pumpkin is really not that good. There, I said it. I’m sure I’ve lost some of you. I mean, I love a good piece of pumpkin bread, but besides that, WHY would I want to infuse a bland vegetable into all of my favorite foods – like pop tarts and cookies? My local spa even has a pumpkin body wrap. And the new “it” hair color for the fall? You guessed it – pumpkin spice. Otherwise known in any other time of year as RED. Get a grip.

Harvest Blessings

All of you welcoming me to your front porch with hay bales and a perfectly hand lettered sign wishing me “harvest blessings.” Who celebrates harvest? We live in the fourth largest city in America. It’s pretty urban. Do you have a lot of guests who make their living pursuing agricultural endeavors? Does your HOA allow livestock as pets? If so, I withdraw my complaint.

It’s Fall, not Christmas

Can someone please tell me why both the Highland Village and the Town & Country shopping centers already have their Christmas lights and giant ornaments up? This offends me. And don’t even get me started on Hobby Lobby shoving their pre-lit Christmas trees down my throat this summer. They are so confused about seasons. I’ve barely stopped waving my American flag at the Fourth of July parade and you want me to buy a glittery Santa ornament? Well…is it half off this week?

It’s Fall Y’all

Really…is it? Because last time I walked outside I drew the conclusion that it’s no more fall than I am a size two. Look, I overuse the word ya’ll as much as any other Texas gal, but come on. This cheesy saying is just too much. And every time I see it on your Facebook status I roll my eyes and then probably “like” your photo because you’ve probably got a cute kid posed in the pumpkin patch. Which brings me to my next point…

The Pumpkin Patch

I remember when the pumpkin patch was just a cute way that the Methodist Church announced it was October. You’d plop your kiddo in the patch for a quick Kodak moment and then move on with your life. Well, not anymore. Everyone from the real estate company to your local grocery store has a pumpkin patch. And if it’s a really good one, they’ve got photo opportunities staged throughout the wonderland of oversized gourds. The problem is that thanks to social media, there’s this pressure to get the perfect picture of your kids amongst the pumpkins wearing their seasonal smocked outfits and looking all precious. It ain’t happening here. We did the best we could with our pumpkin patch attempt this year, but I just didn’t muster up the mental energy to commit to matching outfits and perfect poses. It’s just a field of pumpkins. It’s not the Nordstrom semi-annual sale. Let’s keep things in perspective folks.

Fellow moms…thanks for letting me rant. We at Houston Moms Blog get excited for this season {surely you’ve seen our fall bucket list}. Sometimes I just think we put a little too much pressure on ourselves to make each season bigger and better than the last. After all….it’s just fall, y’all.