I’m turning the big 4-0 this month…AND I HAVE TODDLERS. I am constantly reminded of me being an older-ish mom every. single. day. It started BEFORE my babies were even born. At 32, I started fertility treatments because nothing had worked naturally, and we needed to see if my aging eggs were the culprit. At 35, we started the adoption procedure, and with one of the agencies we met with, I barely passed the age requirement to adopt an infant with them. Yep, it was 35. Fast forward two years and at 37, I miraculously got pregnant {something doctors told us would most likely never happen} and my chart was stamped “ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE” to be sure all nurses and doctors remembered to take the extra precautions necessary for a pregnant woman of my age.
If I’m being completely honest, I’ve struggled to fight comparison as I see mom after mom, 5 to 15 years younger than me, standing next to me in the 2 and 3 year old pick-up line at the church nursery, or at library story time, the children’s museum, the park, restaurants…everywhere! I’ve even let my mind go to a place where I wonder if someday it will bother my kids that I’m older than most of their friend’s moms. Geez. Ridiculous. I know it’s just human nature, and I know it’s just plain silly. But we live in a society that compares EVERYTHING. Why would age be any different?
Just recently, I read this quote, and it helped to put things in perspective for me…
Being a good mother has nothing to do with your age, but more the size of your heart. If you can love enough to know that you will do anything to protect and care for your children, little else matters.
Isn’t it the truth? I’m learning {slowly but surely!}, that my age as a mother is OKAY {even though it wasn’t exactly my first choice!}. Heck, ANY age you are as a mother is JUST RIGHT. Just right for you and the kids God has entrusted you with. He makes no mistakes. I’ve come to the realization that my age is NOT the most important number as a mom. No way. Not for ANY of us moms. Young or old.
There are FAR BETTER numbers to focus on…
- The number of times in a day my kids laugh and squeal in excitement because of something I’ve done with my them.
- The number of times I’ve prayed with them and for them in a day.
- The number of kisses and hugs I’ve given them.
- The number of times I’ve failed and fallen flat on my face as a mom, but asked for forgiveness and started fresh with my kids.
- The number of times I’ve talked to them about God and His love, Jesus and the Cross.
- The number of opportunities I’ve seized to teach and show them what TRULY loving others looks like, no matter our differences.
- The number of books I’ve read to them.
- The number of times I’ve tucked them into bed singing songs and whispering made-up stories in the dark as they fall asleep.
- The number of hours in my day that I’ve been present with them. Not just physically there, but REALLY present and actively involved with them.
It’s a process. I’m on a journey. A journey I LOVE with everything in me. Even on the hard, insecure, crazy, messy, temper tantrum, fit-throwing, screwed-up, stressed-out mom days. I wanna to be the best {IMPERFECT} mom that my kids can have, which for me, involves DAILY trying to figure out how to do it better. That’s what this whole mom-thing is all about, right?
One day at a time, fellow sweet mommas. We got this. Focus on the numbers that REALLY matter. We’ll get there. I just know it.
I am so there with you, however… Where I live it is very common to be 35+ to have a baby as it is more expensive to buy a home here. Heheh. Don’t sweat it! You look 28!
Ditto! I will turn 43 next month and have a 5 and 6 year old. It’s hard!
I was so surprised to be AMAge at 35 having a baby! Now at 40 I have a kindergartener and it is funny to watch the young moms jockey and compete, I got that out of my system working in business for so many years before baby. I think being older is more fun,bolder moms seem to see the bigger picture a little more easily, seems less stressful and anxious than the young moms that do not know anything but a life as wife and with baby.
I was told I would never get pregnant due to biological issues but God has other plans. After raising step-children, I was blessed with a health, happy girl at age 45! Now that I am 50, she is starting kindergarten in the same school my grandsons (ages 11 and 8) attend! I am proud to be an “older mom”!
I was 32 when I had our first (and right now only) son, he’s 3 and a half now so I totally feel the being an older mom thing. Love hearing the perspective of another in my shoes and this had some wonderful reminders! Thank you for sharing your heart!
My youngest 4 siblings were adopted and my poor mom is often mistaken as their grandma. It used to bother her a lot, but now she just says proudly, “Nope, I’m their mom!” My youngest sibling is 2 1/2 and my mom is 56! My parents just knew that God was calling them to adopt through foster care and they are doing an awesome job with it! 🙂