For Those Who Are Hurting On Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day has always been a lovely day on my calendar; I celebrate my mom, and now I get to be celebrated as a mom myself. I celebrate friends who have begun their journeys in motherhood, too. But, as we all face our own set of trials in life, this day is not always so lovely for everyone…

It’s typical of me to post some kind of sappy thing on Facebook to my mom about how amazing she is, how lucky I am to have her, and on and on. All of it is true, and I love to celebrate my mom. But I always wonder who may see that post on Facebook and feel that pang in her chest of heartbreak that isn’t done healing.

Maybe you are missing her so bad that it takes your breath away as the cry wells up from deep within. Her voice resonates in your memory like an echo from a distant place, and you close your eyes trying to hold onto it and never forget the sound. You remember her wisdom, and her beauty, and her unconditional love, and you say, “I love you forever, Mom” out loud–even though she’s not physically there–because you know that that kind of love never dies…

Or maybe your relationship with your mom hasn’t been quite so safe and warm. Maybe you haven’t talked in a while and stopped visiting, even for holidays. Maybe your memories of her are marked with pain of a different kind and you’re still working through all of that; maybe you have a family of your own now and you always swore up and down you wouldn’t be anything like her and you’re talking to therapists, and looking in the mirror trying not to see her in you. And maybe it’s been a lifelong journey because your mom had a lot of problems even before you came around, or maybe you two have just hit a rough patch for the first time and things aren’t as easy as they used to be. Maybe you’re navigating the deep waters of forgiveness, whether you’re able to tell her in person or you have to kneel in front of an engraved stone with her name on it, and you’re trying to find some kind of closure so you can move on and heal…

This year, I’ll also see friends celebrate their first Mother’s Day after the birth of their precious little ones. I’ll smile, and get teary eyed, and like their social media posts. And then I’ll probably remember that I would be expecting my second little one in just two months, had our little angel made it. And I might be a little bit sad, but I’ll hug my little girl tight and thank God for her. And maybe someone else out there will get a little sad too, because you’ll see those friends of yours and you’ll be so happy for them, but you’ll wish so badly it could be you. Maybe you’ve lost babies and the grief is so confusing because no one really knows how to comfort you, and, honestly, you’re really not sure how to be comforted. Or maybe you’ve prayed so hard and waited so long, but there’s been no positives and you’re just feeling so empty…

And maybe you’ve experienced the joys of motherhood. You’ve held your crying/sleeping/laughing babies in your arms and never felt more content in your life. Maybe you’ve seen them graduate from Pre-K, 5th Grade, Junior High, High School, College. Maybe you saw them say “I Do” to the love of their life. And then, maybe you stayed by their side, holding their hand with the IV stuck in it, and watched their chest rise and fall with the oxygen pumping in and out. Maybe you listened to that constant beeping of a stable condition, and your heart stopped every few seconds in terrifying anticipation that the steady beep would turn into one long tone. And maybe you were with them to the very end. And you remember them everyday, but today feels weightier than the others. And you don’t care about the flowers or the gifts, you would give anything just to hold them in your arms again…

So, today, for those of you who might be hurting…

I only have words and a special prayer, just for you. I pray that you would have peace today, and find comfort. I pray you know you can have joy and hope and strength and a future. I pray that you would find healing for your brokenness and relief from your pain. And I pray that you would find the words to share your story, someday, with someone who is broken in the same way, bringing a light to the darkness.

Today is a day meant for love, not pain. I pray you feel love today.

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