Grabbing Single Motherhood by the {Scooter} Handlebars

Grabbing Single Motherhood by the {Scooter} HandlebarsAfter a particularly rough day, the best advice I ever received was, Why don’t you go buy some gummy bears, and ride your scooter? And I did. Two miles and a bag of gummies later, I felt better. Now, we are not talking one of those fancy European scooters. This is the adult version of the scooter you had when you were 8, that came straight from good ol’ Amazon at the beginning of the summer. I don’t know what possessed me to buy it, but I did. And 6 months later it is my go to self care method.

I came into the single motherhood life the same way I ride my scooter—kicking and screaming. Well, not literally—not every day at least. Not too many people write their life stories when they are little kids, with the idea of raising a child alone. It wasn’t something I wanted for myself—or for my son. But here I am, and I regret nothing!

Every day is an adventure and while on my recent 2 mile ride on my scooter, I realized a few things that can help you through the bumpy scooter ride that is single parenting.

Going up the hill is hard, but nothing feels better than the breeze when your coasting down hill.

Parenting alone is hard. Some days it feels like you are dragging your scooter up a 10 foot hill while it’s raining and you’re carrying a 2 ton backpack—but other days you’re sliding through the mom life killing every step with mascara and freshly cooked dinner {that everyone ate!}.

Embrace both. I love the scripture that says we are given beauty for ashes. Good days are coming and it may feel like you are burning through them, but please remember that it gets better and your kids think you are the most beautiful thing to ever rise into their life.

Don’t be ashamed of your goals.

Sometimes when I’m riding my scooter I compare myself to the bike riders and wonder if they think they are better than me—with their two big wheels and fancy helmets. Then, I try to scoot {I think that’s a word} harder than ever. Isn’t that the single motherhood life? We push ourselves as single moms because we think everyone is looking at us, wondering when we are going to quit. Or we believe that we can’t accomplish our own goals, because our kids will suffer. Let me tell you how much of a load of trash that is!

No one is running your race, and you were chosen to be your children’s parent because you alone can handle it. Don’t look at how fast other people are going, how much they spend on their kids, or what your kids are lacking when you chase your dreams. Keep ridin’ mama—the payoff is coming and it’s worth it!

Stop and rest when you need to.

I recently started carrying a backpack around with water, because my scooter rides were getting longer and longer. It became important for me to hydrate myself in order to return home—that’ll preach right? Sometimes you have to stop and take the kids to a sitter, let them watch a little too much TV or eat your Chick Fil A in the car before you pick them up—all so you can rest and enjoy yourself. And there is nothing wrong with it. Kids are resilient they will bounce back—but what about you? Do what makes you happy every once in a while so that you can be a better mom for the long haul.

And if you are wondering how you can help your friends living the single motherhood life—think about the spectators and volunteers during a marathon. They offer water and encouragement while you race, and food and a medal when you’re done. As a single mom I find myself having verbal diarrhea a lot when I see an adult that I can share with. I know this happens with a lot of other moms and their girlfriends. When this happens, don’t judge her get her a drink and cheer her on. You may be the boost she needs to keep riding her scooter through the day.

And offer her what she needs- it might be a gold medal in the form of a thoughtful gift, it might be dinner with her and her kids—or taking her kids for her so she can do something on her own. Remember you’re not running the race, but she needs you to lift her up so she can continue to the finish line.

So whether you are riding your scooter,working on your degree, or changing a poopy diaper– remember the race is not given to the swift, but to the one endures. 


 

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