I Got 99 Problems But This Wasn’t One :: Parenting Problems People are Making Up

There are actual issues that need solving, and then there are the parenting “problems” that people are just making up.

I Got 99 Problems But This Wasn't One :: Parenting Problems People are Making Up | Houston Moms Blog

I was on one of my first road trips with my eight month old daughter. We were traveling from Houston to Fort Worth to visit family. We stopped at one of the Chick fil As on our route so that we could take a break from hating the car, and mama could get a food fix. We went through the rigmarole before settling down to eat:: a bathroom stop with a diaper change and holding a baby on my lap while I peed…and then one handed pulling up my pants because lord knows I am not setting her on the floor. I was  juggling the baby, bag, and wallet as we waited in line to order. We finally got to a table and I was balancing shoveling food into my face while also tearing bits of chicken for baby to eat. I was feeling pretty good about myself. I got this. Kid is eating, I am eating. No one is screaming. This counts for parenting homeostasis. Then…it happened. I brought out a pouch for my daughter, and a stranger at the next table asked where it was from. “H-E-B” I replied {shout out!}. Then came the next question. “It is organic?”. Hmmm, let me see. I checked the package. Nope, doesn’t look like it. “Oh” he responded with a look that told me It should be.

All of a sudden I was thinking about something that I had never considered. Should I be doing the organic pouches? What is really the difference? Can we afford it? Does it matter? And then I caught myself. This stranger just laid a parenting problem at my feet that didn’t exist before. I didn’t need that. I had my hands full already. I learned a valuable lesson that day.

You don’t have to pick up the parenting problems other people make up for your child.

I Got 99 Problems But This Wasn't One :: Parenting Problems People are Making Up | Houston Moms Blog

You know what I mean. It starts in pregnancy, and then just continues on your child’s whole life. I put out a call to the HMB team to hear what problems people make up for their kids, and I heard things like.

“My son sits to pee and my MIL constantly comments on it, saying Boys don’t do that.

“When I was wearing my baby, someone told me I would spoil my children by always carrying them.”

“That my child is too thin or too short when they are medically healthy, just small.”

“We are wrong to limit sports, electronics, TV time, etc.”

“My child is too tall, and I should have her hormones tested.”

“That it is too late to start my child in a sport because they are too old to excel at it.”

“That I do too many activities with my child.”

I Got 99 Problems But This Wasn't One :: Parenting Problems People are Making Up | Houston Moms Blog

And you know we could all write a novel about the breastfeeding/formula feeding/potty training, sleep training/discipline “advice” we have been given. What is it about children that makes other people feel like they have the license to comment on every intimate aspect of their lives? To paraphrase Teddy Roosevelt…Dude. You are not in the arena of parenting my kid. You do not have blood, sweat, tears, vomit, and poop on you. You are the critic. And you DON’T COUNT. {anyone else watch the new Brene’ Brown special on Netflix?}

I Got 99 Problems But This Wasn't One :: Parenting Problems People are Making Up | Houston Moms Blog

In this day and age of constant judgement between the internet and social media and family members and “helpful” strangers at Chick Fil A, we don’t need to take on all of the things. We have our hands full thankyouverymuch. Sometimes as moms, we can be the harshest judges of others. It is a gut instinct to feel like if someone is doing it differently than you, then they are doing it wrong. Or it means YOU are doing it wrong. But we know each child is different. And we know our children. What they need, and what they don’t need. We are in the arena with them every day. What a wonderful thing it would be to lift each other up rather than comparing or tearing each other down. And to tell that critic–No thank you. I got 99 problems but this isn’t one.

I Got 99 Problems But This Wasn't One :: Parenting Problems People are Making Up | Houston Moms Blog

What about you? What problems have other people invented for your child?

 


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