To feel the joy of seeing those two pink lines. To feel you kicking inside of me and hold you for the first time. To watch you grow into a funny, cranky, lovable, spunky toddler. To have you want me to hold you, feed you from my plate, and kiss your boo boos. To watch you discover new things and run sooooo fast. To have you tell me you love me, I am pretty and we are best friends. To have you sit beside me, on me or even near me before you scurry away. I know you are growing up, but I need just one more minute.
Give me one more minute…
To watch cartoons, play with my toys, and run outside. To put my shoes on and get in my car seat. I don’t want to wash my face or hands or go to the bathroom right now. I have so much to see and do, mommy! I am not ready to go to school. I am not ready to eat dinner or go to bed. I’m not ready to do anything you want me to do. I know you are in a rush, mommy. I know you have a schedule. I’m not trying to be difficult, but I need one more minute.
I just need one more minute…
To clean the kitchen, pick up the living room, and open my packages. To go to the bathroom and take a shower…alone. To just think and reclaim my personal space. I need to take a deep breath and regroup. I just can’t right now. I am overwhelmed. I need a minute to get my mind right so I can handle you and everything else. I am afraid to admit it, but sometimes it’s just too much for me. I am not mad and I love you. Just give me one more minute and I will be OK.
One more minute…
To let my frustrations out. I don’t know how to tell you what I am feeling, mommy. I am tired, I am hungry, I am angry, and I am sad. I am everything all at once right now. All I can do is fuss and cry and shout and scream. I need to let all these feelings out. Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t even look at me. But don’t go too far, mommy. I need to see you and know you are there just in case I change my mind. I am not mad and I love you. I need just one more minute to figure it out.
I need one more minute…
To have you all to myself at bedtime when it’s quiet and dark. To rock you and feel the rise and fall of your chest and the beating of your heart against mine. To feel the little twitches of your body as you finally start to relax and let all your frustrations melt away. To sit in silence and just be thankful for what I have in my arms. To feel that right at this very moment everything in the world is perfect and nothing else matters. The morning will come and bring a brand new day with all its beauty and unpredictability, but I need just one more minute.
Please give me one more minute…
Before I have to explain the next school shooting. Why another black life was taken. Why people can’t just love who they love and be who they are meant to be. Why mommies and babies are being separated in our country. Why another woman was victimized. I need one more minute before you start asking questions that I can’t always answer. I will try my best to explain, but I need one more minute.
I will take one more minute…
To show you a bug, read you a story and ask about your day. To play make believe and hide and go seek. To explain why you can see the moon during the day and thunder happens after lightning. To take you on trips to faraway places so you can appreciate the beauty of the world just like mommy and daddy do. To teach you why every life matters, girls and boys are equals, your body is your body, and America is for EVERYONE.
And I will always have one more minute to show you that love is love is love is love.
Just one more minute…
Wow, that took a turn that brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you 🙂
So poetic and touching. Love this, Shannon.
Beautiful and true❤️ I always love to read your posts!