I never wanted kids.

I never wanted kids, not really anyway. I mean, in my whole life I maybe held 2 children? I certainly never did babysitting for a side job. I really just never thought I would be a mom. I was into my career and casually dated here and there, and kids were way off the radar. Well, isn’t it funny how life works? I’m now married with 2 kids, and I know this is the life I was meant to live.

Let’s go back to the mid 2000’s…

I was in the middle of my career as a TV news producer, working long hours and having so much fun doing it. I had just moved to Houston from Boston where I also worked in TV, when I met a guy named Brandon. We dated and spent countless hours discussing all the important topics – faith, finances, and…well, it eventually got to family.

Brandon was a {seriously hot} single guy who volunteered with the kids at his church. He went to birthday parties, played with his friends kids, he LOVED children. Brandon said he had always wanted children and a family. But me? Kids? Do I want kids? I don’t think so.

I mean, do I? For one, I was thriving in a demanding career. It’s not that I couldn’t have kids and still have my career, I just never had time to sit down and think about how kids would fit into that world. Also, I’ll admit, I was a little scared. It’s not that I don’t, or should I say didn’t, love children, I’m not just really a “kid” person. Never really changed a diaper, didn’t know the first thing about breastfeeding, had no clue about sleep patterns…you get the point. I was pretty much clueless about kids.

This was a make or break for Brandon though. It took me a few days to really think about it. Why hadn’t I thought about this before? I felt like I couldn’t put my thoughts into words without feeling cold hearted. {I mean, who doesn’t love kids, right?} After much prayer and consideration, I decided {hesitantly} that sure I never “thought” I wanted kids, but that is because I never really had someone I would want to have kids with.

So maybe I do want kids deep down? Maybe this is all part of the plan? I told all of my jumbled feelings to Brandon. We decided that this was a topic I hadn’t really thought about before, and he has had years to think about it – so my mixed bag of emotions was okay. And more importantly, it was okay for us to work through it together, as long as I had an open mind to what the future may hold. And that I could do.

We either prayed about it or went and played pool, I can’t remember which. {Maybe both?} But either way, we stayed together and eventually got married and…yep, then we had kids.

hmb kid post

Funny how things always seem to work out just perfect for you. Having my girls has brought out a whole new side of my life I never knew could exist. Sure, it hasn’t all been easy. But I can’t even imagine my life without Brandon and my girls. Seeing them happy, seeing their little personalities develop, and the constant hugs, snuggles, and big smiles. *Sigh.* I couldn’t live without it! {Yes, tantrums, timeouts, and all!}

My heart is so full, and I’m A MOM?! WHO KNEW?

And Brandon?  Well, he was right about his always wanting to be a dad. He is amazing with Claire and Daisy, and seeing all of them together makes my heart melt.

Turns out, I can only be the mom I am with Brandon as a partner. We are living life together with our girls, and I couldn’t imagine life any other way.

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Andrea S
Andrea is wife to her sweetheart Brandon and mom to Claire {Aug 2009} and Daisy {Sept 2012}…otherwise known as the “ABCD Crew.” After working as a full-time TV producer for more than a decade, Andrea now does freelance producing and content writing. Her favorites :: Jesus, running the greenbelts in Kingwood, smoothies, red wine, thrifting and 10 minute power naps. She would love to connect with you on her blog AndreaSlaydon.com, on Pinterest {Andrea Slaydon}, or through Twitter {@AndreaSlaydon}.

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