When I get home from work, I quickly greet my three-year-old twins and tell them mommy has to go upstairs to change out of her scrubs. Truth be told, yes, I really do need to change my yucky, stinky scrubs, but I also need a few minutes to decompress. After a long day of operating and covering labor and delivery, followed by a hectic drive home from Galveston, I can start feeling some kind of way!
I think they have caught on to my scrub-changing smokescreen, though. They now want to follow Mommy upstairs and “hang out” while I change, which has forced me to start locking all 5 doors separating me in my bathroom hideout from my precious littles. Unfortunately, my latest effort to guarantee 5 minutes of solitude did not last long. When my sister called the other day while I was changing and asked what I was doing I replied, “I am hiding from my kids, but I hear them coming!!” Before I knew it, the door swung open and in came little Sydney. “Hey, mama! What you doing?” I immediately felt guilty for keeping her out as soon as I saw that sweet smile and heard that little raspy voice. My heart just melted. I gave her a hug…and gently pushed her back on the other side of the quickly re-locked door to get my 5 minutes.
It’s just 5 minutes, y’all!!
This incident got me thinking. Am I a terrible mom or am I completely normal for going to such great lengths to do something for myself? So I asked my friends to spill the tea on some of their greatest mom confessions. Enjoy!
When my girls were little, I would tell them I was going to Home Depot and instead have breakfast by myself or go to the store because they had zero interest in Home Depot. Hey! Our food bill was double when they ate out with us so I would buy them donuts and then go “shopping” at Home Depot. Sadly, that no longer works now what they are teenagers because they are tech savvy and can track my location on the Life 360 App. My recent Home Depot outing placed me at the breakfast diner. Oops!!—littles ages 12 and 17
I drink EVERYTHING out of a coffee mug at home because my kids think it is hot coffee and I won’t have to share. I can have water, tea, or wine in my mug. Who knows?? My baby boy just says, “No, no, hot!!”. And the drink is all mine!!—littles ages 5 and 2
I shoved the last two Oreos in my bra and told my kids we were all out. I had a really long day and just wanted those Oreos! A little crumbs in a bra never hurt anyone!—littles ages 6 and 3
When the kids were little, I used to tell my husband that if we ever got divorced I would demand that he got full custody and I just get visitation. I have to admit, I was sometimes a tad bit envious of my divorced friends who had their kids every other week. Back then I could have used a week off!—littles ages 10 and 12
I would tell my kids I was going to run errands with my friend and sneak in a trip to the Ponderosa buffet. This worked for a while until my oldest called me out after smelling Ponderosa on me when I returned from the “grocery”. I felt a little bad, but I needed some time away!—littles ages 46, 45 and 35 (This is my mom y’all! And it still bothers me! Ponderosa was my favorite!! I was 11 at the time.)
I recently told my husband, “Come get your son before I toss him out of the window!” He was acting up and hitting his baby sister in the back seat. At the time it seemed like a horrible thing to say, and I obviously didn’t mean it. It just seems like I should be infinitely patient and understanding, but I am realizing that it is nearly impossible sometimes!–littles ages 3 and 5 months
Both of my kids have fall birthdays and always get way too much stuff, so I hide some of their birthday gifts and give them to my kids for Christmas. They will never know!!—littles ages 5 and 2
I popped their huge 3-foot Mickey and Minnie balloons because they floated around downstairs at night and would scare me when I walked downstairs every morning. A couple of times I got into full-on attack mode ready to fight those dang balloons! I told them they had to return to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to film the next episode.—twin littles age 3
I heard my husband struggling with our 10 week old, but after not showering for 2 days, I chose to shave my legs AND moisturize. Hey! My legs were really hairy AND I may have secretly wanted him to suffer a bit since he had already showered three times that day.—littles ages 22 months and 11 weeks
My kids think Santa’s elf watches them through the baby monitor. I may or may not have started that lie last year when my daughter wouldn’t stay in her bed at night. She stays in her bed now.—littles ages 5 and 2
I blamed many things on our Great Dane. One time I threw away a gingerbread house the kids made and told them the dog ate it. I’m sorry, but it was ugly and had been sitting around for a long time because they insisted it was a great Christmas decoration. I also blamed the dog for a cake I finished off. That dog was a great cover! They never got mad at her, but would still be furious with me!—littles ages 10 and 12
For this past Mother’s Day, all I wanted was to spend it with my girlfriends and away from my littles! So that’s exactly what I did! We met and drank mimosas and proceeded to talk about…the kids. Lol!—littles ages 2 and 4
I love going to the grocery store so I can eat my favorite candy while my little looks at toys in the toy aisle. I don’t have to share because she is paying no attention to me stuffing my face!—little age 6
While some moms keep all of their children’s precious school art, I throw most of it away. My house is a disaster with three active girls! All those precious drawings just end up crumpled and dusty. I dump them all!!—littles ages 4, 5 and 7
My husband and I used to tell the girls we were getting ready to watch a scary movie so they would go to bed and not come out to bother us. Guaranteed alone time!—littles ages 10 and 12
What are your mom confessions?!