Overcommitted? Just Say NO!

Women struggle with saying no. We all do, well most all of us. I hear it from my friends, I hear it from my clients, I hear it from my family, I hear it from my neighbors… “I just had to say yes” or “I couldn’t tell them no. I just couldn’t!”

So, this called for an emergency post topic this month, a special edition of SOS Becky so to speak.

It is so easy for me to sit across the table from someone and for me to hear all they are committed to and ask ::

“Do you really feel like you should be doing all of those things?”

**crickets** “Um… no?”

“No?”

“I mean, I know it’s a lot, and I know you don’t think I should. And I probably shouldn’t, but… {insert really awesomely justified reason right here}.”

Because we all have good reasons. Really good reasons. Meaningful, sweet, serving, fun reasons.

And I’m really no different from my clients, or my friends, or my family, or my neighbors, or you.

My name is Becky Kiser, and even though I am usually the one helping others solve their problems, I struggle with saying no. Like really really really struggle with it. Like haven’t slept more than 5 1/2 hours in I don’t know how long because there is too much, way way way too much, on my plate.

And that’s hard.

Because when I look at my plate it doesn’t seem that full. And I think I should {I hate that word} be able to do this. After all, many a woman has done much much more than this. What am I complaining for?

Not to mention when I look at my plate, so to speak, I love every single thing on it. Even the things I don’t really love, I love the idea of it or what it could turn into or the person it’s helping.

But back to that whole I’m not sleeping any more problem. Yeah, something’s got to give. Like right now.

And I hate that.

I hate admitting that I can’t do it all.

And I really hate letting anyone down. Really hate that.

And here is what I know, and here is what I remind others of so often – Every single time you say yes to something you can’t say no to, you really are saying no to something else. Maybe you are saying yes to a committee or a social event or a service opportunity or a TV show or a new job opportunity. But we all have the same 24 hours in our day. And to give one of those hours to something means that hour comes away from something else. So now you missed out on that workout you had said you’d start this week, or getting to the grocery store so you have to opt for fast food, or that family walk, or “just one more story before bed, mama,” or sex {yeah, that seems to be the first thing women trade in}, or sleep.

So I’m learning and I’m seeing that the more times I say no to the wrong thing, the more space I’ll have to say yes to the right thing. This is my life. I control it. I choose what I give my time to.

Saying no doesn’t mean you are letting someone down. It means you are saying yes to the best things in your world.

What do you need to say no to today? Not sure? Ask a spouse or a best friend, I bet they’ll have a least one recommendation! 

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