Valentine’s Day has always been a fun day in my book. I don’t subscribe to the sentiment that it is just a commercial holiday meant to make greeting card and floral companies rich. I have always been here for a day to express love and kindness to another person. However, it wasn’t until I experienced love and loss that I realized how much power this holiday can wield over someone’s self worth.
Imagining the heart ache of my children will one day encounter makes my stomach drop. I will always be the mom who will want to help carry them through all of the ups and downs of life. But love, love is complicated. Love can steal our sensibilities and blind us. When it is taken back without our consent, it can fill our hearts and minds with lies. Soon our inner monologue is filled with, “I’m not worthy. I wasn’t enough. I should have tried harder.” As a mother we try to protect our children from that sort of self doubt.
The problem with love is that it is powerful enough to blast through the protection of even the fiercest Mama Bear. I realized the greatest lesson I could teach about Valentines Day is to set the groundwork to prepare their sweet little hearts for what is to come. Nothing could make my Mama heart feel more purpose than helping my children know and value their self-worth. So, I have the honor of writing what will be one of my dearest Valentine’s Day messages.
To my Daughter and Son,
Before I can encourage you to accept love from someone else, I need to do my very best to teach you to love yourself. Your validation does not come from a dozen roses or a box of candy hearts. It is not owned by that flutter you feel in your stomach or the racing of your heart. Although, I must admit, that flutter can feel pretty darn amazing.
Your worth, sweet babies, is made of so much more. Always remember that you are His. Your confidence and character will be shaped by what you experience in this life, but your worth comes from the One who made you. Keep that truth in your heart and never let someone take its place. As your Mom, I will always remind you that you are beloved by God. He gave you to me. The greatest loves of my life. He tasked me with filling your soul with solid truths. I will never take that job lightly. So read this, YOU ARE PRECIOUS AND YOU ARE BELOVED. Always remember whose you are.
Falling in love can be so easy. As you take that plunge, remember that no matter the outcome, you are
amazing. That love you are feeling is a gift, but it is not what makes you loveable. You are amazing in
your own right, not amazing because that person loves you. The right person will see you and your love
as exactly that, a gift. One day, you will find your person. The person who loves you so deeply you can feel it in your bones. They won’t make you doubt your worth. Their love will heal some of the hurt you have experienced along the way. I know this, because of your father. You are so lucky to have an example of great love. While we may not always set the perfect example, I hope you both can look back and never doubt that your parents had true love. A love that you both made deeper the moment you each were born.
Happy Valentine’s Day. You two truly are the loves of my life. Know that when love does get rocky, you
have a Mama waiting to scoop you up and help carry you through. I will always be ready to remind you
to love yourself.
With all my love,