Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, born in 1933, died September 18, 2020. She fought valiantly throughout her life for things we take for granted now. She was a renegade for women and moms everywhere. As a student of Harvard Law School, graduating from Columbia Law, she raised a daughter, aced her classes, earned her spot on the Harvard Law Review and Columbia Law Review. She also cared for her husband who had testicular cancer, taking his Harvard Law School classes in addition to her own.
In 1993 she became the second woman appointed to the Supreme Court. There have been two women after her. In her 27 years on the court, she fought and beat cancer twice, getting it a third time in 2018 in her lungs. Throughout all of this, all of these battles, she didn’t stop fighting. She was powerful.
“Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn’t be that women are the exception.” Ruth Bader Ginsburg
As mothers, we are asked to take on so much. If 2020 has taught us anything, it is the resilience of mothers. We always knew we battled everything – work, raising kids, caring for the home, making our spouse happy, making our families happy. Did my daughter eat enough vegetables today? Should I mention I have kids during this job interview? We shoulder the burden of everything. Ruth Bader Ginsburg shouldered that burden for us, and the burden of our whole gender. She made it possible for me to be able to tell my daughters they can be anything they want to be, and truly mean it.
I started writing this piece when On The Basis of Sex, a movie based on her life, came out and never finished it. In the movie, she fights with her daughter as I fought with my mom so many times. She wanted to teach her daughter to stand up for herself and for what is right, by arguing with her, just as my parents did for me. Her daughter was right there with her, watching her, learning from her, as she fought her first case. She and her husband used a tax law case with a male defendant to topple gender inequality.
How awesome it must have felt for her as a mother to show her daughter how to fight for what is right, rather than giving in to what is easy. I am currently raising my own gutsy women, and know how eye opening it is for my kids to understanding something I am trying to teach them, be it about gender equality, racial equality, or simply that it’s ok that we like different things and aren’t the same as each other. My oldest daughter will sometimes say something like, “I don’t like tomatoes, just like you Mommy!” or, while watching the new Mulan movie, “Of course that Dad doesn’t care about a silly sword. He cares more about his daughter than stuff.” When she says something like that I know they are always watching and listening to every thing that we say, no matter how big and small. Our children are soaking all of our values and all of our opinions in order to form their own. If that is not the most powerful thing in shaping our world, by shaping the minds of our next generation, I don’t know what is.
“If you have a caring life partner, you help the other person when that person needs it. I had a life partner who thought my work was as important as his, and I think that made all the difference for me.” Ruth Bader Ginsburg
One of the biggest reasons she was able to fight was because she had a partner beside her to help her, push her, and support her. Martin Ginsburg did a lot to show the world how to treat their wives. I was scared to be married when I was younger, I really was. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be someone that could be “second” to anyone else. I didn’t want that. If you know me, you know there’s no way I could be in the shadow of someone else. RBG found what I found:: a partner. A true partner that wanted her to succeed on her own, respected her wishes and her goals for herself. He didn’t put her in a box or force her to be in his shadow. He legitimately got mad at her for settling for a job she found versus the career that she really wanted. RBG once said, “In the course of a marriage, one accommodates the other” and that is how my husband and I navigate our marriage. When one of us is focusing on something, like when my husband travels for work or when I wanted to finish my Master’s degree, we help each other. We take up the slack from the other. Our marriage is not 50/50, it’s 100/100, and I fully believe that Martin and RBG were inspiring partners. Also, while unlike RBG I can cook, my husband does most of the cooking for us like Martin did for their family.
“I would like to be remembered as someone who used whatever talent she had to do her work to the very best of her ability.” Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Ruth Bader Ginsburg did that. She will always be remembered as someone who fought for what she believed in, paving the way for women to rise up everywhere. We have had women Presidential candidates, Vice Presidential candidates, leaders, CEO’s, leading the way for #MeToo movements or #LeanIn movements to rock the world. 127 women are in the United States Congress, the most we have ever had. We owe that to RBG. She wasn’t the first and she, thankfully, won’t be the last, but she fought hard to make sure that my mother, my daughters, and myself are equal and have the ability to be whatever we want to be.
Thank you, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, for never backing down. We will take that torch, load it up with all of the things women carry daily {physically and mentally} and keep fighting for our daughters to come.
Rest In Peace, Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933-2020)
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