Signs Your Husband is Suffering From the Dreaded Man-Flu

As moms we are quick to learn that there are no sick days in parenting.  Excuse me, there are no sick days in motherhood.  Gone are the days of laying in bed with your cold medicine in one hand and tissue box in the other while drifting in and out of sleep followed by a tub soak and chicken noodle soup.  You gotta just throw back those pills and suck it up, Sister!

We should be thankful that as women we don’t have to worry about that pesky “man-flu” getting us down.  You know that cold/allergies/exhaustion that hits our husbands like a ton of bricks and turns them into bigger babies than the ones we birthed.  Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Well, consider yourself lucky that you married a man with a rare immunity to the man-flu.

For most of us, this is far too common an occurrence, especially around allergy time, summer heat, change of the season, and the winter cold – heck the man-flu can strike at any time!  I’ve found that my husband seems to catch it about the same time that we are experiencing an extra stressful time that is causing us to get less sleep.

For me this manifests itself as being extra tired.  The solution?  Extra coffee.  For my husband it manifests itself as the man-flu!  The solution?  Hours of bedrest, complaining, whimpering, and not doing a damn thing!

After the birth of our first child while I was struggling with nursing a newborn ’round the clock and recovering from major freaking surgery, the man-flu struck my husband and forced him to sleep upstairs away from the commotion of the baby and new mother.  Damn you man-flu!  It {read :: I} almost killed him.

So if you are a new wife or mom and still unfamiliar with this man-flu, I thought it best if I gathered a list of common symptoms to watch out for.

Man Flu - Featured

Symptoms of the Man-Flu {aka the common cold}

  • The Exaggerated Cough :: You know the one that starts off pitiful but shakes the house by the end of the day.  Drink some hot tea and shut up.
  • Baby Voice {also see Whisper Voice or Whiney Voice} :: This one is my favorite.  It’s not convincing enough just to BE sick, one must make sure you know how sick they really are.  Funny how the moment your husband gets on the phone with a coworker or friend they get their normal voice back, but when I ask how he is feeling…it’s back to baby voice and whines.
  • Refusal To See a Doctor :: “What could they possibly do for me, honey?  Don’t you know I’m just trying to milk this for as long as I can to get out of chores and stay in bed?”
  • Excessive Napping :: When moms get sick, they are expected to perform all normal activities as planned.  When dads get sick, they NEED sleep…and a quiet house to do it in — so could you take the kids out, honey?
  • Inability to Care for Children or Household Duties :: “But I’m so sick, and I don’t want you and the kids to catch it.”
  • Undetectable Fever :: Well shoot, that pesky man-flu seemed to break all of the thermometers in our house because even though the label reads 98.6, you swear you have a fever and are burning up.  No, I don’t want to feel your forehead…again!
  • Belief That Medicine Has No Effect :: Because none of that stuff ever works on the man-flu you dummy! Quit suggesting ways in which he can get better.
  • Denial That He’s Feeling Better :: Don’t expect your man to admit that he’s actually starting to feel better {even if you can tell he is} – for fear that you will start demanding his help around the house again.  This could last for days, even weeks.

So what do you do if the man-flu strikes your house?  I’ve found that one day of coddling is justified.  You don’t want to be seen as the cruel witch that you actually are.  But after that, a forced doctor’s visit is in order so they have someone else to complain to.  It’s hard to argue with a PhD, although leave it to my husband to think they might be wrong when his antibiotic hasn’t started working within an hour or they didn’t agree with his WebMD diagnosis!

And if they won’t take your advice for a doctor’s visit and medicine, the favorite saying in my house is, “Well then you’ve lost your right to complain!”

2 Responses to Signs Your Husband is Suffering From the Dreaded Man-Flu

  1. Avatar
    Darby Hawley May 8, 2015 at 1:56 pm #

    Amen!!! Yes yes yes to allllll of this lol

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  1. How To Barely Take Care of Your Children | Houston Moms Blog - May 24, 2015

    […] Chelsea wrote a funny post about the man-flu. And even though as moms we don’t get official sick days, we still have those days {or […]

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