Snow Day Parenting :: A Timeline

To preface,  my 3 year old daughter came down with a bug and an ear infection Saturday. Perfect timing, right? {Insert eye roll and all the sarcasm font here.} Soooo, we had already been trapped indoors for THREE days when Houston’s Great Ice-aggedon of 2018 hit. The positives? Fortunately I didn’t need to miss work for a sick kid. Oh, but the negatives. My parenting has slowly devolved into something less… parent-y. I was all over the crafts, reading, games, and general brain stimulation until about Monday afternoon. Here are the progression of things with my A+ Snow Day Parenting … Can you relate?

Day 1:

Me :: “Pfftt…Ice day. Texans. I love it. Nothing this Cleveland girl hasn’t faced a million times!”

Kiddo :: “Let’s do crafts!” {Breaks out all manner of scissors, construction paper, and all those foam sticker thingies.} This will be SOOOO fun!

Kiddo :: “Ok, I’m tired of learning how to cut with scissors – maybe a movie?”

Me :: “Sure. You can watch another movie. Hmmmmm,  Angry Birds? Maybe not age appropriate … but you can learn colors and the value of structural integrity, right? I’ll just watch it with you to sensor just in case… SO WAIT, ummm nope, we are totally watching Puss In Boots. There are more adult jokes in it and these pigs creep me out.”

Me :: ” You want a popsicle {that’s 3 year old speak for lollipop} for a snack? Sure.” Shrugs. Whatever, man.

Me :: “Here’s a hearty soup lunch … homemade sister. Perfect soup weather! And I made you cornbread – enjoy!

Me :: Work, work, work over nap time! Pick up the floor. No wasting time on Facebook or online shopping!

Me :: “Huh…when’s the last time you took a bath? Wait, when did I shower? Ok, fine. I’ll let you shower with me but don’t get my hair wet – it’s actually a little cold.” {Anyone else need that warm up but dread taking off the clothes? BRRRRR.}

Me :: Ok, kiddo. It’s 7pm – time to get out of your jammies… aaaannnddd back into fresh jammies. Makes total sense, right? And let’s maybe put on some underwear for the first time today. Just a thought.”

Glass{es} of wine{s} for mommy – get some work done and call it a night. And most importantly, STAY AWAY FROM BORED ONLINE SHOPPING.

Day 2:

Me :: “Why are you waking up at 5 am?! Yes, I am still in my jammies from yesterday. Stop judging me, kid.”

Me an hour later :: “A popsicle for breakfast? Ehhhh ok, whatever. Just stop asking me to go play outside. It’s cold.”

Ooohhhhh Me :: Okay, these snap button cardigans on Zulily are SO cute and just came back in stock. There’s 100 people viewing. What? I better buy one or two! I mean I totally need cardigans and can wear them to work … it’s a work purchase so totally justified. Right, kiddo?” 

Me :: Maybe I’ll just take the timer off the “Free Time” on the Fire tablet today … I really should get some more work done this morning. {Internally snickers.}

Me :: “Hey baby,  wanna learn how to play Mario Kart? Mommy doesn’t really want to work.” {See little devil over my shoulder. He approves.}

Kiddo :: “BEST LUNCH EVER, Mommy!”

Me :: “Oatmeal for lunch – done! You’re officially my favorite kid!” 

Me :: “I hope I have enough dry shampoo to last through this…maybe I should order some.” {More online browsing.”

Me :: “Do I need to put makeup on today? It’s already Noon… if no one sees me, I did, right?

Me :: “Just ran to my car to grab something … HOW AM I FROM OHIO?!? WHY IS IT SO COLD? WHO THE HECK OWNS ICE SCRAPERS IN TEXAS? HUMID COLD IS A REAL THING, Y’ALL.

Me again, totally defeated :: “You’re tired right? Let’s take a REALLY long nap today! Under lots of heated blankets! Doesn’t that sound like fun? No? Sigh … darn popsicles. Puss in Boots and Pinot it is!” {Note :: it may be only 2pm. Just whatever.}


Let’s hope I survive the rest of this day! Hope you and yours are staying warm! Cheers to all who survived our Houston winter precip event. What a way to kick off 2018. My house should be clean again sometime in February.

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