This is what motherhood dreams are made of
The comment wasn’t mine, but it resonated with me. It was Halloween night, and a group of our friends headed out into our neighborhood with our sights set on candy. Our costume laden kids outnumbered the adults, and the whole night was a dance of taking care of one another, as our buckets filled with goodies. Babies with legs too young to walk were either worn by their moms, our pulled by dads in a wagon. Our neighborhood doesn’t have sidewalks, so we were constantly watching for cars, while making sure our resident Black Panther and Spiderman were safely tucked in between the adults. It was a night of helping kids step up over the curb and onto the grass; it didn’t matter if it was your child or not. It truly takes a village.
My hands held Baby Shark’s while also making sure that Super Girl said “thank you”as she received a fistful of goodies. We were all in it together, as we slowly moved from house to house. Our children yelled and laughed along the way and became experts in the art of Trick or Treating. As our troupe continued our journey, my friend whispered This is what my motherhood dreams are made of. I smiled, and agreed, the night was idyllic, and made even sweeter by the fact that we were all bundled up. It was a chilly night, and a cold Halloween in Houston is a magic all of its own.
Our night finished and I continued to think about my friend’s comment. The days went by and our candy stash dwindled, and her words still rolled around in my head. They stuck with me because it reminded me that we all arrive at motherhood with an idea of what it is going to look like. We have expectations for it. We have dreams for it. I know mine were nothing short of afternoon dance parties, and deep and thoughtful conversations at snack time. I assumed that playing with my kids would always be easy, and outings to the zoo and the park would be nothing short of educational, bordering on extraordinary.
And then I became a mom. I quickly learned that the afternoon dance party didn’t quite take away the afternoon angst as we waited for dad to get home. Snack time is sometimes met with ungrateful demands for more, spilled milk, and squabbling. I would face disappointment when the sensory activity I prepared for in advance wasn’t well received by my children, or only occupied about 30 seconds of their time.
If I am honest, sometimes motherhood falls flat. The reality looks different than my dreams, and wresting with that tension day in and day out is draining.
My friend’s comment was significant because it reminded me that I am not alone in this. I know this to be a common sentiment shared among mamas. I am not the only one fighting with the dream in my head, and the reality in my home. The days are long and tough, and yes, they don’t always live up to the picture in our heads. However, sometimes they do, and what a treasure those moments are. The “Halloween Nights” exist. The unexpected questions asked at bedtime by a cozy toddler. The game of chase that gives way to deep belly laughs. The homemade card full of scribble delivered to your bedside. The bobbing and weaving of kids in costumes on a search for candy. Keep your eyes peeled for those moments that feel like a dream, they are there, and they are a gift, and they make the meltdowns at snack time worth it.
So tell me, what are some of the real life moments you have experienced that made up your motherhood dreams?
About Bridget A.
Bridget is a Houston native, and former educator turned stay at home mom. Married to her college sweetheart, she and her husband count it a privilege to raise the two children entrusted to them. Bridget is a lover of all things home décor, reading, and exercising. Her family is actively involved in their church and are passionate about their faith. As an Enneagram 4, Bridget is a lover of deep conversations, particularly over chips and salsa.