You Know You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom When…

Not too long ago, Breonna wrote a hilarious post called “You Might Be a Mom If….”, and I caught myself nodding to each of the things she listed. To dive deeper into that conversation, there are things I do each day as a stay-at-home mom that make me think, “only another stay-at-home mom would understand this.” Being a stay-at-mom is brutiful – beautiful and brutal all at once. {My good friend Glennon from Momastery coined that phrase.} I mean, aren’t all mom gigs tough stuff no matter if you stay-at-home, work from home, or work outside the home?

However, since I now fall under the SAHM category, I thought I needed to throw out a little SAHM solidarity to see just how similar we really are. Because if we can’t poke fun at ourselves…someone else will.

You Know You're a Stay-At-Home Mom When

You Know You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom When…

…your alarm clock is your baby monitor, even after he/she learns to sleep through the night.

…putting on real clothes means changing into yoga pants or leggings. Leggings are pants inside the home.

…grocery shopping alone is like a mini-vacay. And a trip to the dentist sans child is like a trip to the spa.

…your coffee gets reheated about five times throughout the day, only to become an iced latte at around nap o’clock. “The cold never bothered me anyway.”

…you put two different shoes on to leave the house and don’t realize it until you take a stroll around Target. #embarrassing

…you’re perpetually late to everything no matter how hard you try to be on time. Toddler tyrants are no joke.

…you call your cable provider just to talk business like real adults. And when you get a discount on your bill, you literally do a happy dance. You still have that business savvy talk in there somewhere. #likeaboss

…you loathe Mount Laundry. Who knew being a SAHM also meant being a mountain climber, too?

…you can’t decide if hiring a babysitter would be better used to go on a date night or to take a nap.

…you have forgotten what a dressing room looks like. “This looks like my size. Who has time to try things on?”

…your weekly Target trips are merely to get out of the house and to step away from the Disney ‘toons.

IMG_2109

…you miss asinine work meetings about yada yada yada. Because adults.

…you’re about to prepare lunch only to realize that you never changed from your pajama pants into your yoga pants. Honest mistake.

…you’ve sat in the Starbucks parking lot because your kid finally fell asleep and you refuse to give up nap time quiet time.

…on most days, you’re so tired when nap time rolls around you choose to zone out into Lala Land instead of change the cartoon channel.

…you secretly like Sofia the First and Doc McStuffins, but you get an eye-twitch mid-day from the “Hot Dog” song.

…you schedule all play dates and outside activity around the coveted nap time hours. And if anyone dare says you have to alter these things, your mama feathers get ruffled.

…your new business lunch partner usually brings a stuffed animal to the table.

business lunch

…your plans for nap time far exceed the time actually allotted. Never enough time for Mount Laundry. Because who really gets things done in 30 minutes after you return from your zone-out session?

…80% of your closet hasn’t seen the light of day in years.

…you find food remnants in the most random parts of your clothing or hair. “When in doubt, scratch it out.”

…your new mantra is “dirty hair, don’t care.” Top knots for life.

…going to the bathroom alone is no longer an option.

…it’s 4 o’clock and you realize you never put makeup on for the day. {Perk :: you rarely run out of makeup.}

…you get more done in the hour prior to your husband’s arrival than you do all day {laundry, dishes, pick up the living room, supper, and really change out of your PJ’s this time}.

…no matter how much you want to lose your marbles some days, there is no other place you’d rather be.

SAHM

I realize that I’m truly blessed to be living out this season of my life. Some call it a privilege, a luxury, a non-essential, but what I like to call it is a calling. I’ve been called to do this. I’ve been called to stay at home with my sweet baby girl and love on her day in and day out. So I suck it up. I put laughter into our crazy days, cry away the bad, and thank God for the good. Isn’t that what life’s all about? So to all you stay-at-home moms who just need to vent, let it out. Your voice still matters. We’ll laugh with you, never at you. We’re in it together, sister. Keep on keeping on.

Now on to the fun part. Fellow SAHMs, how would you finish the statement :: You know you’re a stay-at-home mom when…

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54 Responses to You Know You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom When…

  1. Avatar
    kristin April 8, 2015 at 7:06 am #

    When you wash and blow dry your hair only to immediately put it up in a poneytail!

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 8, 2015 at 1:55 pm #

      Oh, that is a good one! For sure! 🙂 Did that today, actually.

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      Heidi Miller July 13, 2015 at 10:47 pm #

      When you are mopping the floor and your 5 year old asks who’s coming over to visit!

  2. Avatar
    Vanessa Bowers April 8, 2015 at 7:26 am #

    I found a chicken wing in my pocket one day, and thought not much of it.
    #bizarrethingsmomsputintheirpockets

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 8, 2015 at 1:56 pm #

      Haha! I find wipes in my pockets and food I mean to throw away in my pockets all the time. Good one, Vanessa!

  3. Avatar
    Colleen April 8, 2015 at 9:18 am #

    I love this! And I can related personally to each and every point!!

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 8, 2015 at 1:56 pm #

      Thanks, Colleen! 🙂 I’m sure you could come up with your own list, too!

  4. Avatar
    Lindsey April 8, 2015 at 12:11 pm #

    While I am not currently a SAHM I found these all to be SO true during my one year mat leave! So funny!! Now that I am back to work FT I say I actually can go pee alone and drink hot coffee 🙂 And the nap time thing? Still SO true, no plans during nap times!! haha

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 8, 2015 at 1:58 pm #

      Thanks, Lindsey! Funny is my jam. I envy your bathroom privacy and hot coffee. 😉 And yes to the sanctity of nap time! Ha!

  5. Avatar
    Jess April 8, 2015 at 12:19 pm #

    …your child asks where we’re going when you put on makeup 😉

    Great list, Kristy! I especially love the last paragraph. There’s no place I’d rather be! ♡

    Jess
    http://www.sweetlittleonesblog.com

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 8, 2015 at 1:59 pm #

      Oh, gosh. I’m sure once C can articulate that, she will. Thanks so much, Jess! There really isn’t. 🙂

  6. Avatar
    Liz | Ellie And Addie April 8, 2015 at 12:38 pm #

    Such a great post, and I definitely nodded my head to all of them!

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 8, 2015 at 1:59 pm #

      Thanks, Liz! Glad you could relate. I knew you would. 😉

  7. Avatar
    Emily Nemmer April 8, 2015 at 1:40 pm #

    Your legs have not been clean shaven in a month bc your child refuses to let you shower alone. Or the only thing you really eat in a day is just leftover food your child didnt want or may have even tried it but spit it out. Yep, that happens

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 8, 2015 at 2:00 pm #

      Haha! All the time. All. the. time. I think that’s how I’ve lost weight. I’m on the “I only eat the scraps” diet. Lol.

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    Tawnya April 8, 2015 at 2:30 pm #

    LOVE this post 🙂 So proud of you girl! XO

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 8, 2015 at 3:02 pm #

      Thanks, friend! 🙂 You know how we do. Lol. Xoxo

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    MommaDe April 8, 2015 at 4:04 pm #

    By kid 3:

    – 0 Fks are given on changing out of your jammies.

    – If it requires a bra or real pants, it gets put off to the last possible moment.

    – you can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve worn makeup in a month

    – you have given yourself a body wave perm from the amount of time you’ve kept your hair up in a Mom Bun.

    – nap time is a coveted thing of the past.

    – you’ve worn Pajama Jeans as regular jeans and feel like you’ve gotten away with something.

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 9, 2015 at 8:08 am #

      I dread the day when naps are gone. Hopefully that will be when she’s in school. 🙂 One can hope! Love your list!

  10. Avatar
    Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom April 8, 2015 at 9:04 pm #

    Ha! Check, check, check, check… yup, I’m a stay-at-home mom alright!

    My home “uniform” is PJs – and I once left the house with a purple and a black Toms shoe on. EMBARRASSING!

    I love grocery store trips… bring on the happy music while I walk slowly up and down the aisles.

    Loved this Kristy!
    xoxo

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 9, 2015 at 8:10 am #

      🙂 I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I’ve been thinking of doing a post about my favorite pairs of pajamas. Lol. Seems like that’s not such a bad idea after all. Yeah, the grocery store has some great tunes when you’re strolling by your lonesome.

      Thanks, Jennifer! Happy you liked it!

  11. Avatar
    Alycia April 8, 2015 at 10:03 pm #

    Love this!!! Although I work fulltime outside the home, shift work allows me to be home during the week, and we go through many of these things!!! 🙂

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 9, 2015 at 8:11 am #

      Thanks, Alycia! Glad you can relate too! 🙂

  12. Avatar
    Jessica Dimas April 8, 2015 at 11:54 pm #

    SUCH an amazing post!!! This part made me giggle:

    “…you’re about to prepare lunch only to realize that you never changed from your pajama pants into your yoga pants. Honest mistake.”

    Hahahaha!!! And leggings definitely are the “pants” of SAHM’s. I could agree with all of these, also the “dirty hair, don’t care, top knot for life” lol!!!

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 9, 2015 at 8:13 am #

      Glad you liked it, Jess! That means so much coming from you! 😉 I’m so glad that we SAHMs are all so similar. I feel like I’ve given away some of our secrets. Lol.

  13. Avatar
    ️Meg O. April 9, 2015 at 10:46 am #

    Great job with this post, Kristy! I know I can’t totally relate as a working mom, but that’s totally me on weekends and summers!

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 9, 2015 at 2:17 pm #

      Thank you, Meg! 🙂 The working moms post on Tuesday was just as hilarious. Xoxo

  14. Avatar
    Cassie April 9, 2015 at 5:13 pm #

    Great post!! I have to add
    ….When your child strings toys all over the living room and you refuse to clean them up because you know they will be drug out again first thing in the morning.
    ….during nap time you take a shower and maybe eat, because you don’t want to wake up before the baby and when she goes to bed so do you.
    ….Everyone asks you what you do all day!!

    Thanks for sharing, this is awesome!

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 10, 2015 at 10:18 am #

      Oh, your last one! 🙂 Love it! Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Cassie! You are awesome.

  15. Avatar
    Ileana April 9, 2015 at 6:08 pm #

    So hilarious and oh so true!! My alarm clock is for sure the baby monitor, eek in a few months my newborn will be so I’ll enjoy the sweet sounds of mommy, mommy I want breakfast 🙂 Oh and I am totally a nap time zoner!

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 10, 2015 at 10:19 am #

      So happy to know that I’m not the only one. 😉 Eek! Happy pregnancy, friend!

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    Jamie April 10, 2015 at 9:24 am #

    When you get out of a speeding ticket because you admit it is the first time you have been kid free in days. Best part is when the officer tells you that next time you have free time to call up girlfriends instead of going to the grocery store.

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 10, 2015 at 10:20 am #

      Haha! That is awesome, Jamie! You should definitely heed that advice. 🙂

  17. Avatar
    Vonda Simmons April 11, 2015 at 9:24 am #

    This is great! I will definitely share.

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      Kristy M April 17, 2015 at 9:03 am #

      Thanks so much, Vonda! Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂

  18. Avatar
    Celi April 13, 2015 at 1:03 pm #

    Completely LOVE this! I can totally relate. Thanks for sharing. ♥

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 17, 2015 at 9:04 am #

      Thank YOU for reading, Celi! It was my pleasure to share. Happy to hear that you relate. 🙂

  19. Avatar
    Katie @ Cup of Tea April 15, 2015 at 6:24 am #

    HAHA! Yes for the to-do list that far exceeds the nap time. I always have high aspirations for getting tons done at nap time, but when it rolls around, I am in desperate need of chocolate and staring at a wall in silence. Love it!

    Katie @ Cup of Tea

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 15, 2015 at 2:43 pm #

      So glad I’m not alone in that! 🙂 Chocolate and zoning out trumps most of the nap time sessions. Glad I could make you laugh, Katie! Hope you’re having a great day!

  20. Avatar
    Paula Pecina April 16, 2015 at 7:43 am #

    You know you’re a SAHM when a perfect afternoon is sitting on your neighbor’s front steps drinking iced tea and watching the kids roll down the hill (hill required).

    • Avatar
      Kristy M April 17, 2015 at 9:01 am #

      Love it, Paula! 🙂 Sounds great!

  21. Avatar
    Christine June 26, 2015 at 9:59 pm #

    You know you’re a SAHM when…
    You can name any cartoon through sound, without actually seeing the tv.
    The five major food groups in your home are: goldfish, juice, fruit, yogurt,and macaroni and cheese.
    You will buy any cleaning product that claims to “do the work for you”.
    You find yourself telling other adults you “have to go potty”.
    You spend half the spring planning summer activities to avoid the dreaded “Mama, I’m bored…”
    You learned the hard way that tuning out and saying “ok”, “yes”, or “sure” to your child is an enormously bad idea.
    You know that silence is golden, unless you have children, in which case silence is very, very suspicious.

  22. Avatar
    Danielle August 14, 2015 at 2:44 pm #

    …all of your meals consist of whatever is leftover on your kiddos plate.

  23. Avatar
    Christina October 10, 2015 at 9:14 am #

    Love this post! I’m reading this as my little one sleeps, and I literally nodded in agreement, and burst out laughing 😉 So nice to see I’m not the only one!

  24. Avatar
    Brianna @ beautifulfunctional.blogspot.com December 17, 2015 at 11:13 am #

    …Goldfish are one of your five major food groups.

    …when you find that Cutie under the couch after X weeks, and green powder poofs out when you lift it up with your bare hands because what’s a manicure?

    …when you go to microwave your wax in broad daylight and your kids follow you around the house like, “what are you eating, Mama?”

    And this was just today 😀

  25. Avatar
    JenniferP January 4, 2016 at 3:56 pm #

    -you see someone fall and calmly nod and say ‘your ok’

  26. Avatar
    Sara January 8, 2016 at 12:52 pm #

    When I say it’s time to get dressed and my 3 year old replies with “where we going?”

  27. Avatar
    Ashley January 28, 2016 at 2:49 pm #

    Haha I loved this I’m a young SAHM. I will be 20 in two says and I completely agree with all of these especially the one about the last hour before your husband gets home !

    You know you’re a SAHM when : you always plan on waking up early to get things done But never do.

    Or you plan on working out during nap time but never actually do

    Or nap time comes so you take advantage of you time to take a warm bath in hopes to relax some only to have you baby start crying the momant you submerge your whole body under water!

  28. Avatar
    salma February 7, 2016 at 4:22 pm #

    Huummm let s remind rewind… you know you re a SAHM when you fill the baby s bottle with your coffee… when you see a skirt and you wonder what s it for!! when you put the dirty diaper in the fridge… when you leave the car wiiiiddee open on the parking lot of the supermarket and again when you leave the car turned on with the music on and the car keys inside…when you put 2 of your puppies in a stroller and the groceries underneath …when you don t remember ANY of your children s birth dates…when you cut your hair tiny tiny so you don t have to use a brush neither a hair dryer…when you put your husband s underwear..
    when you re listing the week s menu while you re p…… when you allow your kids to call you by your name only not to hear mmmmooomm ..moom..mmooomm..and so onnn…ahhh when your kid thinks you look like dark vador!!
    Mom of 2 girls and a boy between 7 and 4 years old …ohhh and the cat..and the husby…
    we are STAY AT HOME GODESSES

  29. Avatar
    Taylor Greenwald August 4, 2016 at 1:36 pm #

    You know you’re a stay at home mom when you finally get some alone time, but still feel like you hear your kid crying, laughing, or talking. (But really it’s just the noise in your head.) 😛

  30. Avatar
    kate August 2, 2018 at 6:57 pm #

    been a SAHM since 2016.. and loving in.. HI to all SAHM here…

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