Ahh, Houston. Our wonderful city. The fourth largest in the nation, and that’s technically not even counting all the suburbs. A sprawling 627 square miles of awesome. Well, awesome and traffic. I’ve lived here my whole life, but as the years go by, I’ve met more implants. Welcome, y’all! But whether you’ve been here five years or forever, here are some things you can relate to if you live in Houston.
- Your standard time to get across town or around the corner is 20-30 minutes.
- If someone is driving the speed limit, they are driving way too slow.
- You get a little sad when you drive past the empty lot where Astroworld once stood.
- You don’t remember a time when 290 wasn’t under construction.
- This city is so big you can find parts you never even knew existed.
- When Google Maps suggests you take Highway 69 you giggle, and then yell, “Go home, Google Maps. It’s 59!” Or Southwest Freeway. Or EastTex Freeway. But never EVER will it be 69.
- You’re not surprised by traffic at 2 p.m. or 2 a.m., or on a Sunday, or a holiday.
- Williams Tower? Oh, you mean Transco?
- You simply do not understand the fascination with Krispy Kreme when there are Shipley’s everywhere.
- You base restaurant choices by how good the chips and salsa are.
- And there’s no surprise that there are two Mexican restaurants right across the street from each other, and most are thriving.
- That Blue Bell drought was so serious.
- You’re accustomed to breakfast with jalapeños in it.
- You’ve had to explain to several out-of-towners what a “kolache” is.
- And then you have to explain the amounts of Eastern Europeans in Central Texas.
- 1 person = y’all. 2 people = y’all. 3+ people = all y’all.
- You can’t exactly put your finger on it, but for whatever reason, Dallas is the worst.
- Especially the Cowboys.
- If you’re outside, you wave at everyone that passes your street.
- When you say, “bless her heart,” everyone knows what you really mean.
- You have a huge amount of family members that live in Louisiana.
- You’d love for Bun B to run for Mayor.
- You high-five and honk at anyone with team memorabilia on game day, which is basically everyone on any game day. We represent. Hard.
- Everyone, no matter what kind of music they like or how they dress every other season of the year, EVERYONE loves Rodeo season.
- You 100% relate to the phrase, “If you don’t like the weather in Texas, wait 10 minutes.”
- You have a hurricane story, either the time we got slammed, the other time we got slammed, or the time we almost got slammed.
- When the forecast calls for rain, you still leave your umbrella in the car. You’ll just text someone to see if it’s raining on their side of town before you bother with it.
- The mosquitoes get bigger every year.
- That one day a year when we get to stay home for ice is never as cold as a random Tuesday in February when you just knew “Winter” was over.
- Anything below 50 degrees is freezing.
- When May comes and out-of-towners complain, you laugh because 97 degrees is a mild summer day.
Isn’t it great?! Whether you’re into fine art and five-star dining, or country music and taco trucks, there’s something for you to do here. Theaters, gardens, golf courses, high rises, a ton of sports teams, HEBs, and JJ Watt…we have everything anyone could want here. What’s your favorite thing about the great city of Houston?