Today on your fifth birthday I have lots of thoughts and emotions running through my mind. You are my firstborn. The one who is teaching me every lesson possible about motherhood. You’re the experiment child, because you know, you came first and since there is no instruction manual to this parenting gig you, daughter, are unfortunately the one that gets the brunt of all of my failures. I apologize in advance for that.
You probably didn’t realize or understand, but this year has been a bit of a struggle for me. We’ve had some curveballs thrown at us, and for the first time on this parenting journey, I was challenged to be your biggest advocate. In doing so, I found strength in myself that I didn’t know existed and your resilience to it all was unwavering. Just like my love for you. I take the duty of being your biggest advocate seriously, and I want you to know, daughter, that I’ll always do that for you.
The world is made up of all kinds of people and I’ve always admired that you march to the beat of your own drum. You know exactly what you want, when you want it, and although it’s the most exhausting thing ever for me to try and parent that, I know that you’ll have no problem standing on your own two feet someday.
I love that your personality doesn’t necessarily “fit inside the box.” You are unique, inquisitive and have your own view of the world. I often envision what your future will look like and I picture you commanding the attention of a room filled with executives. They’re looking at you in awe with your brilliance and insight. You often talk about how you want to work in a big building downtown like daddy and I encourage all of it because deep down inside I know that your bossy demeanor is preparing you for leadership.
You wear your heart on your sleeve. You’re passionate about how you feel and are the first to tell someone how you feel about them. Sometimes it’s to tell them that you love them and their heart, and other times it’s to speak your mind when you’re disappointed or mad. It blows my mind that you have such awareness of your emotions at this age.
Five years old feels like a big deal. You’ve completed the fingers on one hand and it’s our last year together before you start Kindergarten. Your birthday is always extra nostalgic for me because we brought you home on Christmas Eve. You are our very own Christmas miracle.
Among all the great qualities you have, you also are a great big sister to your brother. You play and teach him things. You look after him, worry about him and defend him when needed. But of course, you also pester and pick on him, but I hope you know that I’m not expecting perfection out of you. I know that you love him big and that he’s your best friend.
I know that sometimes you and I butt heads, but I’m told by almost every mom who has a daughter that this is totally normal. Which reassures me when I’m in the trenches of parenting your big personality when you’re not following the rules, but rather making them.
I love that you have such an imaginative mind. You can take a box and turn it into a spaceship and pretend like you’re in outer space. Even though it aggravates me, you love to steal my Apple Watch charger and hook it into the back of your pants. It becomes your lion’s tail while you run around the house pretending like you’re Simba from the Lion King. You have such a creative spirit that keeps me constantly guessing what you’ll come up with next.
You are growing up to be a kind, sweet and loving little girl, but you are fierce and a force to be reckoned with. But also, you’re just growing up. It’s happening so fast. I’m trying my best to hold onto all the little moments we share together. The good, bad and in between. I want them all. I’m so proud to be your mom and I look forward to seeing what the next year brings for you. Happy birthday sweet daughter. I love you without limits.
Love Always Your Biggest Fan,