Dear New Mom :: It Gets Better

NewMomAdvicePost

One  of my best friends is pregnant and due in February which has me thinking a lot about advice that I can pass on to her.  Like me, she is a total planner, advice seeker, and book reader, so she is already getting all of the obvious advice.  I’ve been reflecting on my past 15 months as a mom and trying to come up with some not-so-obvious advice that I wish someone would have shared with me.  There’s always my post about how having a baby may affect your marriage, but I think the biggest thing that comes to me is simple…it gets better.

That sounds so obvious and simple, but it really is the truth.

To say I was overwhelmed in that first month would be an understatement.  Really, the first few months.  I loved my son so much that I could not even fathom leaving him to go back to work.  Once I transitioned back to work full-time, I then struggled that first year with guilt of leaving him anytime that I wasn’t at work.  I thought that since I was already gone most of the day, I should never leave him to see my friends, have a date night, get my hair done.  I pretty much resolved to be a homebody.

But here, 15 months later, I can say it has gotten better – the mom guilt, the balancing act, the juggling, the marriage.  It has all gotten better.  I even look back on some decisions I made at the time and realized I was a bit clouded by hormones.  Hindsight is always 20/20 though.

I’ve heard people say before to never make big decisions that first year of motherhood.  Things will look different after that first year, and it’s true.

So that’s my new mother advice – it gets better.  I won’t say easier because there are always new milestones to reach and challenges to face, but with time and lots of support, motherhood just keeps getting better.

It also helps to have a group of other new moms who have been there recently to encourage you and understand exactly what you are feeling.  This network doesn’t even have to be close friends – it could be a Facebook group or local area blog {hint, hint}.  It’s nice to have a place to vent or ask random questions of.

Any other advice that I might add for expecting moms?  Gap for maternity jeans {Back of Baby Gap in Houston Galleria}, Old Navy for maternity tops, and Pea in the Pod for maternity dresses for work and showers.  Stretchy, spandex, and elastic!

Advice for new moms?  Accept help…and make anyone who wants to visit come bearing dinner.  Dessert not optional.

Let’s keep this conversation going!  If you are a seasoned mom, what advice can you give our new or expecting friends?

5 Responses to Dear New Mom :: It Gets Better

  1. Avatar
    Mary August 22, 2014 at 8:21 pm #

    Do what works in the moment. Don’t stress yourself out now, trying to avoid possible stress in the future. It might work itself out on its own anyways. If the pacifier helps now, use a pacifier. If nursing to sleep helps now, nurse them to sleep. If climbing in bed (with a toddler) helps them sleep, climb in bed.

  2. Avatar
    Andrea S August 23, 2014 at 6:38 pm #

    I love the “accept help” part. I learned letting people help – like family members, etc.. makes them feel special too! They want to be a part of your life! So it’s not just about saying “no” because you are used to saying “no” when someone asks if they can help you. Other people want to contribute – so let them!!

  3. Avatar
    Beth February 28, 2015 at 7:00 pm #

    Trust your maternal instincts – If you feel that doing something is best for you child, do it & don’t worry about what other moms might think. Same is true for not doing something. Your instincts are usually going to be right (unless you’re sleep deprived, then rely on your partner’s instincts).

  4. Avatar
    Amye June 2, 2015 at 8:01 pm #

    So happy to have found this article. I am a FTM of a beautiful 5 week old little girl. Some days I think I am getting the hang of it and others I feel like I have no clue!

  5. Avatar
    Michelle September 8, 2015 at 1:32 pm #

    Relax. You don’t have to be everything all the time. It’s ok to play on your phone or watch TV while you’re nursing. It’s ok to sit back and relax if your toddler is happily playing by herself. It’s ok to just throw away all of those preschool take-home papers with the “helpful” suggestions for the many, many, many stimulating activities you COULD be doing with your child instead of having a shower. It’s ok to not have Pinterest boards crammed full of birthday ideas and perfect bedroom decorations and activities for every day of summer vacation. It’s ok to tell the kids to go play outside while you make dinner. It’s even ok to tell your teenagers to make their own dinner, because you and Daddy are going out tonight.

    You don’t have to supervise, organize, maximize, and emphasize every moment of every day. So relax.

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