Something happens when you become a blogger. Your mind starts thinking in blog posts. Ideas flow in and out, clever titles wake you at 3 am {or was that the crying baby?}, and you are constantly trying to gauge the pulse of your audience to create likable content.
With the exception of the last part, I’ve been experiencing all of that in overdrive since the birth of my second child. You see, what I’m about to admit may not be deemed “likable.” It may come across as taboo, but it also is the brutal truth right now in my life.
I have a favorite kid.
There, I said it. I said what every parent will vehemently deny to the public, but secretly, I know you do, too. Or at least you have at one point. It probably shifts between who is better behaved, but we are so programmed to never admit to having a “favorite.”
But I didn’t say I love one kid more than the other, because I don’t. I love them differently and equally all at the same time. I am finally appreciating the snuggles my baby insists on all day, and I have come to depend on my first born’s new-found independence. Something about the yin and yang of a newborn and a toddler is managing to keep me balanced and driving me insane simultaneously. But that balance and that insanity haven’t been easy. Transitioning to two kids has been no walk in the park, but I’m not looking for pity. Many before me and many after me have and will survive this challenging time. I will survive, as well.
However, right now? In this newborn, sleep-deprived, dirty-hair-and-constant-yoga-pant-wearing haze? I have a favorite kid. And it’s the one that’s potty trained and sleeps through the night.
The irony in admitting my oldest is my favorite is that I am most certainly not her favorite right now. Her afternoons are filled with “Shhh, you’ll wake the baby,” or “Give me a minute to feed him,” and “I can’t play with you right now.” I know how frustrating it must be for her, so I can’t blame her for only wanting her daddy. I tell her she’s my favorite and that even though I have to deal with the baby I still love her so much. I am, no doubt, going to give her a complex about being favored right now. I’m fairly certain that she’ll work it out on the couch in a psychologist’s office later in life, but right now I’m grasping at straws. I want her to know that even though her life has been turned upside down, she is still my sunshine.
Her brother, on the other hand….well, he has been known to invoke some dark clouds hovering above me. Honestly, his saving grace these days is the fact that I can eat as much chocolate in front of him without having to share. But this too, shall pass. I know somewhere down the road there will be a shift, and I’ll look at him as the favorite before my daughter has the chance to regain her throne. I also know that for the rest of our lives they will take turns being the “favorite.”
But I also know that for the rest of our lives, I will continue to love those two little munchkins with my entire heart and soul. Even when I find myself hiding in the closet with a Kit Kat bar.
Omg I totally relate! This totally mirrored what I went through when I had my second as well. Down to her only wanting daddy because I was being such an anal stressed out mommy. My second’s now 2 almost 3, and it is so much better now. They play really well with each other. Hang in there! Not that those words really help in this exact moment but it definitely makes it worth it to curate that 2nd one to be the other’s playmate. Thanks for sharing!