I’m just going to lay it out for you:: parenting {at any stage} is not for the faint of heart. I’d go as far as to say that in my particular stage of parenting a 2-year-old and a 2-month-old, it can be downright hard. But I never worry how I’m going to handle it. I may feel overwhelmed at times, but never alone. I know that if I need help, if I need a little encouragement, heck, if I need someone to watch my kids for 20 minutes so I can take a blessed shower, I’ve got it. Because I have found my village.
Why It Takes a Village
You know, the old saying? “It takes a village to raise a child.” Whoever first stated this should have won the Pulitzer Prize for General Non-Fiction that year just for these four words alone, because it’s just so insanely true. Honestly, at least one person from my proverbial village helps us with our kids on a weekly basis. And this is outside of my mom watching the baby while I work everyday. Side note:: Seriously, thanks mom.
Sunday mornings tend to be a bit hectic for us, being that my husband and I are both involved in our church worship band and need to be there a couple of hours before church starts. Once we walk through the doors, though, there is no shortage of helping hands. I’ve had friends keep my toddler entertained while I wasn’t able to give her my full attention. I was gifted a “pregnancy survival kit” by friends when I was dragging myself in for practice with a bad case of morning sickness {for 3 months}. Every week, my baby boy is cared for by loving friends who will stand and sway with him at the back of the room, or feed him a bottle when he’s hungry, or throw the burp cloth over their shoulder if he’s gassy, or change his diaper. Someone is always carrying something for me, or pushing the stroller, or keeping an eye on my toddler when I turn the other way. My village is there when I just need a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on, or someone to cheer me on, or someone to just… be there.
My Village
It’s guys and girls; some with kids, some without. Some are my age; some older, some younger. Some of us work full-time, some part-time, some stay home with the kids. We don’t have everything in common, and we don’t necessarily all parent our children the exact same way. But we often parent together, keep each other sane, and keep each other laughing. We gather and grill out; let the kids play outside or upstairs or all around us, and we chat between words of instruction to our littles. We have girls nights and guys nights, and leave our spouses with all the kids. We kick-back, and cut-loose, and let our hair down with each other. No judgements, just understanding and encouragement.
If you don’t have a “village” of your own, GET YOU ONE. Find a church small group, or a MOPS group, or your PTA, or make your own. Find your people, the ones you trust and that lift you up, and meet together often. Talk every day if you can. Make the effort, even if loading up the car to get to your communal parenting location is an actual circus act; do it.
Even in Houston, this massive city of looping freeways, you can find that place where you are known and loved; where friends become family. You can find that collection of people who rely on each other and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Your village is out there waiting to welcome you, mama. Find it.