With the accessibility of technology, it’s easy to Google just about anything and ask questions to complete strangers about the well being of our children. It’s even easier to get caught up in the mindset that what we read through the screens of our phones or laptops must be the end all and best advice we will ever receive. Studies show, and I’m sure it’s no real shock to anyone, how much personal, real-time, real life relationships are lacking due to our eyes being stuck behind a digital screen.
Before I go any further, I’m NOT trying to point out how detrimental the Internet can be to your lives. Just so I’m not misunderstood, keep reading.
One of the most important things I believe every woman needs and also might be forgetting about when raising their children is the community of women who came before them. Whether that be a grandmother, mother, mother-in-law or an aunt; someone who is older than you who has tried, succeeded, and also failed at being a mother.
We forget that the women who came before us didn’t have the Internet to rely on when seeking advice when raising their children. Oftentimes they would ask the women in their lives what they did in any given circumstance. They spent a lot of their time talking, listening and learning from one another about motherhood.
If you ever asked your grandmother or mother for advice or wisdom about motherhood, my guess is that it made them feel good. The strong women who played a part in molding and raising us learned a few things along the way and are probably waiting patiently to bestow their wisdom on you. It’s part of the sisterhood that has bonded us together as women and mothers.
Passing On Traditions
I vividly remember as a little girl spending the night at my grandma’s house, her singing me lullabies and playing with my hair as I fell asleep in her bed. I remember my mom doing the same thing for us kids when we were little and us kids saying “just one more song mom” to avoid going to bed.
Last night as I was putting my daughter to bed, she requested the same song my mom and grandma used to sing to me when I was little, and I started thinking about how many generations this song had gone back. Women in my family like me who sang “Edelweiss” to get their babies to go to sleep at night. It’s not just about the wisdom we pass on through personal stories, but also what we can learn from these women through modeled behavior of love and care and the traditions that have been passed on through each generation.
With both of my grandmothers gone, it’s bittersweet that I don’t have them around to see me as a mother. There are so many questions about motherhood I never got a chance to ask them. My point in sharing this post with you is to help remind you of the women who came before you. The Internet will always be there for you to rely on, but the older women in your life won’t.
I hope these women were good to you and if they were, take some moments and have them share with you their best mothering advice or failure. Be compassionate, listen intently and with an open heart. You might learn something new, there will for sure be a shared experience or story that you can relate to, and you might find out that as a woman and a mother, you’re turning out to be exactly like them; and that is the greatest gift of all.