Stay at Home Mom :: Deleting Doubt

Did you read Sarah’s post a couple of weeks ago about being a working mom?  She told us how her maternity leave was coming to an end and she wasn’t sad.  She told us how being with grown ups and working with excel spreadsheets from 9-5 is what really lights her up.  She told us that she wants to teach her kids she is a strong working woman.  The post was awesome.  It was so awesome that it compelled HMB’s own contributor Bre’onna {and I’m sure hundreds of other working moms out there} to slow clap her way through the post.

I WANTED TO BE SLOW CLAPPING…slow clapping, whooping, and cheering – but I wasn’t.  Instead, it got me feeling like I may have made the wrong decision.  It made me feel a little bit like staying at home with my kids is not the choice I meant to make.  Sari is one of the people in my life I am always, always, always on the same page with.  Baby raising, birthday party planning, holiday decorating, problem solving…we are always in the same head space with the same game plan, making the same decisions.  You can imagine the doubt I was suddenly facing as I read her powerful, confident words.

I started to reflect on how I wound up in this role and quickly remembered I started my mothering career as a working mom.  I was a kindergarten teacher and loved my school.  I just didn’t want to give up my spot.  When my maternity leave was over, I went back to work and didn’t give staying at home another thought until winter break.  Those two weeks, y’all…two weeks of living the stay at home life, and I was suddenly devastated to go back to work.  I wanted to be with my kids.  I wanted to take them to music class and playgroup and do projects with them during the day.  I wanted to make their lunches and put them down for naps and go to the park in the afternoon.

When the break was over,  I went back to school and was sad every, single working day.  Before the school year came to a close, I sat down with Josh, and we figured out what giving up my salary would mean for us.  When I realized that we were talking about eating dinner in a little more and shopping at the Gap a little less, the decision was made, and I didn’t return to school the next year.

I’ve been living it up as a super stay at home mom ever since.  Everything I daydreamed about before I left my teaching gig, I have made happen.  I have time to be crafty, time to take my girls to playdates, time to make decorative garland for every holiday, and time to put Owen down for all of his naps.  I can successfully grocery shop with all three kids in tow and minimal meltdowns.  I can squeeze in post nap snuggle time between washing lunch dishes and prepping for the next meal.  I can even make and serve dinner, clean the kitchen, and have the whole crew bathed and ready for bed before Super Dad gets home from work at 6:45!  Dannnnnnnng…I’m soooo Supermom.  Why was I doubting myself??? Ha!

Like ANY job, y’all…I go through highs and lows every, single day.  There are parts about my role as household CEO that I love and parts of it that I would rather pass on to someone else.  I think just about anyone can say that, right?? Teachers, nurses, doctors, attorneys, engineers, sales superstars…I realize I’m leaving someone out, but please raise your hand if you’re with me.

For now, I’m choosing to go through the highs and lows with these three ::

3 kids

Just like Sarah let go of guilt, I’m letting go of doubt.

I’m lucky enough to be in a circle of six amazing women who support and build each other up on the regular – 2 stay at home moms, an engineer, a pharmacist, an audiologist, and a financial manager.  I know our group represents so many of you.  So diverse in what we do in our daily routines, but we are all Supermoms to our kids and all doing it in entirely different ways.  We make it a point to tell each other every week how awesome the others are, how great of a job they are doing in life, and that is why I have deleted the doubt.  These women remind me there is not one perfect way to be an amazing mother, and I know I’m doing exactly what is right for me.  It’s not Sari’s right, but it’s my right.  Doubt deleted.

SAHM

10 Responses to Stay at Home Mom :: Deleting Doubt

  1. Avatar
    Michelle Tanner February 18, 2014 at 8:24 am #

    LOVE it! So very true and I think we all carry our own guilt and feel pressure but when I usually stop and think the only person that put it there was me! My kids think I am awesome and we all know kids have zero filter so it must be true right?! Now for the really important question….when can we have a play date??

    • Avatar
      Jessica and Sarah February 19, 2014 at 8:21 pm #

      For realllllllllllllllls!

  2. Avatar
    Nicole February 18, 2014 at 12:10 pm #

    Perfect post! You are so beautiful inside and out. And I’m so happy to have you on my board of advisers!

    • Avatar
      Jessica and Sarah February 19, 2014 at 8:22 pm #

      ditto neecole!

  3. Avatar
    Laurel February 18, 2014 at 7:41 pm #

    I love this! I too struggled with doubts of whether or not I made the right decision to stay at home. Lovely post 🙂

    • Avatar
      Jessica and Sarah February 19, 2014 at 8:23 pm #

      Thanks Laurel! I like to tell myself, nothing is forever. This is just what works for now and I can always change my mind!

  4. Avatar
    Renee Majors February 18, 2014 at 8:30 pm #

    Being a school teacher and a mom at the same time is one tuff gig. I commend ANYONE who takes on both jobs at the same time. BTW, nice post.

    • Avatar
      Jessica and Sarah February 19, 2014 at 8:24 pm #

      Thanks Renee!

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    Jenn February 23, 2014 at 8:59 pm #

    Yea you are super mom! I related to this post so much. While I may not have everything together by 6:45 most days (and I totally feel guilt that I’m not “contributing” sometimes), I totally love being the one to be there for the little things that happen each day. Thanks for sharing the other side!

  6. Avatar
    Regan March 14, 2015 at 9:04 pm #

    Thank yoh so much for this post!!! I am a fairly new SAHM, worked for 2 years after having my son but we decided as family that I would stay home when we became pregnant with our second. I wanted nothing more then to be home with my children but I still struggle with the decision. Your 100% right nothing is forever but this is what works for my family at this time and I am going to enjoy every minute!!

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